Oh Ah My God I cant believe

[Lunaria]

Hi Mon,
Angie, one of our members and past channeler,asked to go home and Hatonn from the AC, told her she couldn't break her contract. If she did break it she would have to relive this life on a planet worse than earth.

But Jelaila says we can renegociate out contract.

Because our guides have lied to us, I would think they have created karma for themselves.

I don't know if I have been lied to or not by my guides.
I know they sent me to Idaho to be healed. They prepared the way before me and when I was healed they prepared the way home.
Tha air in the valley of the mountains was thin and they were were able to heal me faster because of it.

I know they have always taken care of me.
But now when I read how upstairs has messed up I don't feel secure and protected anymore.

But I am so glad you joined this forum. It has given me a lot to think about.

When you say..."by an existance that isn't our creation "...
I thought we made our own reality and this existance is what we made.

I think I am too old to be an early Indigo. But what ever I am
I seemed to have shut down.I don't want to leave the earth by my own hand, but I am anxious for the time when I can leave.

I asked years ago how I would be changed and a voice in my head said, "you will lay down and go to sleep and wake up changed"
So I quess I will go during one of my naps because I also saw a sofa with those words.

You are certainly right about the 3D life. I was at peace then also.

Now I have to figure out if I was lied to . I don't care if they lied to me, it's their karma.

I also have to see how long I agreed to stay, and if the physical self has any say in it or is it just the soul, or high self that controls things.

I quess I came to also make up Karma and to allow 4 ppl to come through me so they could live a physical life.

Thank you for the info on the yew plant, should it become necessary. I looked up the symptoms of the poisoning.

As long as I am healthy I think I will wait for my High Self to pull the cord out.
I promised I would not leave my cat. And I am a little mad at my other half so I am not in any hurry to see him any time soon.

Luv, Lun.

[Monikah]

Lun,

Ach, I had to get it out, my feelings about being lied to. Our beloveds don't deliberately lie to misdirect us, I know this. Some of it is past karma, where they lie in order to repeat a pattern in order to break the pattern so we don't blow ourselves up again. Some of it is the need to not say something yet, as we're not ready or it's still classified. Some of it "things change." Some of it they just didn't know.

They direct us in the finest ways possible, and that runs into our densest experiences. And too, it's maybe not so much lying as their not quite being aware either of what would be experienced. Past patterns of 3d earth for these future beings can get entangled. Our 3d view is waking them up too. We are building new relationships by closing the doors on what doesn't work.

I don't mean to say our beloveds are liars. Quite the opposite generally. Maybe I held that clearing a little too long!

They will continue to take care of you. Oh this mother's ache knowing how I shook that up in you. Please don't doubt your guidance's best intentions for you, yet be sure you're standing strong in that you agree with what they guide you to do.

I feel the physical self and the form consciousness has a right to assist with this choice at this time, to make this choice, in unison with high self and soul, your trinity in action.

Love,
Mon

[Lunaria]

Thanks Mon.
Luv, Lun.

[Sowelu]

What's "prematurely"? For all the kudos and love and "we're here to help but you have to do the work" that we get from upstairs, it is truly up to us to decide. They really have no clue other than through us how difficult this reality is. They've not experienced it, nor anything like it. So they deny, or if they don't deny, they look to the side while we suffer and they take notes and tell us new energies are available. (Yes, I can be snide about this.)

Oh, I can be pretty damn snide myself, when I'm in that place, Mon. I totally hear ya! (((Hugs)))

I guess for me "prematurely" means "by the will and choice of only a part of self, a part not in full awareness". That's all I meant there.

(((Hugs!)))
Sowelu

[Monikah]

Gotcha. Makes sense. Thanks to all. I'm not so snide today.

Love,
Mon

[seaoffeeling]

Lun said: "I also have to see how long I agreed to stay, and if the physical self has any say in it or is it just the soul, or high self that controls things."

[glow=red,2,300]This is interesting, a separation between the physical self and high self. My understanding of ascension is that this would involve an integration and complete harmony of all the selves, so that whatever is decided or intended at the 'higher' levels automatically translates down to the physical 3d level, that there would not be a break, time-lag, or convolution in the line of communication, so to speak. Funny how I feel very separate in my 'selves' at this time. I find that one part of my self asserts itself at a particular time because it wants attention. Right now, the physical has dominated, followed by the emotional, and both of these have shut out the spiritual. As though they don't want to listen to the spiritual self and are saying to it "what have you done for me lately?". I hadn't thought that this would be tied into what's going on upstairs, that there may be disorganization and miscommunication going on there as well. In my own experience, I've always found that problems that exist at a particular level (e.g. middle management, university department, etc.) are symptomatic of problems at a higher level. But I didn't think before that this applied to upstairs, because perhaps naively I thought they were wiser and knew more/better. Perhaps this is a carryover from my pre-awakened notions of a clock-maker-type higher power outside of ourselves. In any case, I am now suffering disillusionment because I had placed 'them' on a pedestal and have been disappointed. Interesting, as this type of disappointment and losing trust in people is a common pattern in my own 3d life. If there is one thing I cannot abide by (and have trouble forgiving in others) is fakery, most especially the deliberate, calculating kind.

Therefore, despite my present confusion in what I believe and don't believe, one thing I'm feeling strongly and sure about right now is that I can't find justification for upstairs lying to us 'for our own good'. I can see how information can be kept from us or presented vaguely because we're not ready for it. But to deliberately mislead, to deceive, is wrong and only breeds confusion, betrayal and mistrust. It's also arrogant and disempowering, in my opinion.

-SeaofFeeling[/glow]

[Sowelu]

I have no idea if this will help at all, but it popped in after reading your post, Sea, so I thought I'd share it.

I went through a pretty traumatic internal series of events back in 2001 that truly shook me to my human core (at least), but much that's beneficial came out of it (once I recovered sufficiently and looked back on it, that is). One of the things I came to experience first hand was the idea that those who "Serve others" do so without prejudice.

We like the sound of that, feeling certain then that it's something we can trust. But if we really look at what it means, we'll see that WE determine how we're helped by those committed to helping others without prejudice. It's incredibly empowering, but until we know ourselves well, it's rather daunting, as well.

Here's the thing: if I CHOOSE to believe in a lie, I will be supported in that lie. If I choose to maintain fear in my energies, that fear is supported. Because it is my choice, whether conscious or not, to maintain these things as if they are true. And those who serve others have no prejudice regarding what I choose. They are not biased toward "love and light", they are committed to supporting us in OUR choices! They don't care what we choose, it is our birthright simply to choose. And they support us in whatever we choose.

This is, imo, an underlying cause for so, so much of our illusion, and eventual disillusionment, being here. Life itself, coursing through our consciousness, will eventually be what dispels our illusory predilections. Because we will feel something amiss, and seek to investigate, and to our horror (usually), discover we were inaccurate in our beliefs.

This world, in fact, has been built mostly through the support of our fear energies. Through our false beliefs, our false evidence appearing real enough to us that we choose to believe in it, and so it is "proven" through the universal support we receive to live and believe as we do.

If I believe that I will be robbed if I leave the door unlocked, and I fear that probability, and then one day forget to lock the door... I easily draw the event to me and it occurs - because I chose it. Through my fears, yes, but nevertheless, I had other choices.

And it's not as simple as changing our mind in order to change our experiences. We must seek out the emotional root of the need to believe as we do, and until we clear it fully, we are energetically primed to experience what remains uncleared. Through this, we learn. If we're awake enough.

And so as we awaken, we become more and more responsible for the energy we carry in our total energy field. Completely asleep, we are not so responsible for what we carry. Once we begin to awaken, it's gets really intense at times, and depending on what we carry, the work can be pretty rough for a while. Because by awakening, our soul and ourselves chooses to seek truth.... which of course means facing all that we maintain in our energies that is not truth.

So while we can admonish our guides and spirit for "not being truthful with us", they were/are. It's our choices and the remaining filters to truth we still carry that produce some of our "false results" in seeking truth directly from them.

We have duplicitous intentions, at least, most of the time. We don't like to see that about ourselves. We want the truth, but we want it to be palatable and loving toward our wounded selves, as well. And the fact is, if we still carry woundedness, the truth will likely hurt in some fashion.

Anyway, I've gone on here... my point was simply to raise the possibility that once again, what we see is not necessarily what is anyway, and railing against what we think we see... is fighting shadows, you know?

Much love (((Hugs)))
Sowelu

[Lunaria]

I'm with you all the way, Sea.
I feel the same. I almost want to go away and be alone.
I have threatened before that when I do get home that is exactly what I will do and I won't talk to anyone. That's how hurt I am. And this isn't caused by what Monikah said. I have felt this way for a few years.

[liza]

Sowelu- You mean like how this could be a lesson of opening one's heart to another in terms of listening, instead of staying in the "closed" box that is one's reality without accepting or acknowledging others' (ie. building bridges to others' worlds)?

I felt those two things.. building bridges and listening were important where this lesson may be. The words popped into my head, too.

[Lunaria]

What you say is true, Sowelu.
But that doesn't change the way I feel. I am still hurt and angry.
I know these feelings are a part of 3D. What I have to do is feel the feelings and follow them inside till I get to the source of them and bring them into the light.
It may take awhile. But I have all eternity.

[liza]

Lun, don't forgot to be compassionate to yourself if that is true within your integrity. Otherwise, ignore this if it doesn't resonate with you. ;D ;D ;D

It feels to me that when people are stuck in a very emotional rut like this one, they forget to forgive themselves for any reason whatsoever. That goes for forgiving others for the dark roles being played... releasing might be a better word, but use whatever applies in your situation.

[liza]

Yes I understand forgiving others for the dark roles they play will take more time and quite the process.... that's cool, too. I mean, what about forgiving ourselves? Why is it so hard to do that, if that is, indeed, the case? Goddess knows, I don't want to support my fear in any case.

[Monikah]

[Modify: I see a number of replies came through as I was writing.]

Sea wrote: <<But to deliberately mislead, to deceive, is wrong and only breeds confusion, betrayal and mistrust. It's also arrogant and disempowering, in my opinion.>>

How true! However, that's the point (I say swiftly now after a years of denial). At least for me. In my "past lives" I've had people lie to me, betray me, cheat, misguide, yada yada. My choice to be there and all that, but emotionally not so cut & dried.

So, to clear that out in 3d, because I didn't manifest it in my simple 3d life, my etheric Family brought these things to me and others in the 3d Fam.

I got pissed over it. Royally. I didn't know what was going on, other than "confusion, betrayal and mistrust." The ones I loved most were perpetrating these things to me including to my innocent (naive) human self. Excruciating at times, it broke my heart, but it also unwove my machinery mind, empowering my sovereignty. Knowing these ones wouldn't purposely lie to me because we'd worked this out upstairs, yet not being able to hold the Feeling because of past abuse (both ways), and because my human self was a new baby at this. On the other hand, I was a high level mirror of how humans had been treated by the gods. It wasn't pretty.

Sigh.

So, have your guides lied to you? Only if they felt it was needed to give you sovereignty, which would include you teaching them (i.e., humans teaching the heavens) via your ascension.

<<In my own experience, I've always found that problems that exist at a particular level (e.g. middle management, university department, etc.) are symptomatic of problems at a higher level. But I didn't think before that this applied to upstairs, because perhaps naively I thought they were wiser and knew more/better. >>

We 3Ders are giving these crusty old farts a run for their money in the "wiser and knew more/better" dept. Not that they don't have a different use of intelligence and emotion than we do that contributes to their purpose with us, but it has come to pass that earth human talents are shining brightly and contributing on equal par in many ways. The more we become humangel consciousness the more alike we are. As above, so below.

This doesn't mean problems aren't still getting ironed out. Think of the ironing out going on, all the entities and worlds involved in the control of this planet and people, the warring that had gone one f o r e v e r over same, and all the manipulations of that consciousness focused here. The symptoms are the manifested problems of the higher levels, focused to 3d for upgrading and cleansing.

Omnipotence notwithstanding.

<<This is interesting, a separation between the physical self and high self. My understanding of ascension is that this would involve an integration and complete harmony of all the selves, ... >>

I agree the ultimate is the merge of all selves. I've felt this separation lately ... my physical self making decisions on how far I'll take something. I have to use my physical self for the ultimate feeling-test of what's going on with me. Eventually all parts of me will work together again like my human self did before being segmented, but the final choice now has to be my 3d self. If that part of me doesn't agree, it ain't a-gonna happen.

We've been blocked from experiencing higher feelings in 3d, so there either needs to be a barrage from the heavens to break into the 3d human feeling realm, or the 3d human needs to stand strong that this is the full and final decision of the whole and entire consciousness manifesting in 3d. (Does that make sense?)

To let feelings into the physical is a big part of what we're doing also because upstairs' humangel realms are all feeling, and we need to learn to do that again, and to have clear boundaries about it too. Assisting upstairs with defining boundaries is a part of some humans' missions.

<<Right now, the physical has dominated, followed by the emotional, and both of these have shut out the spiritual. ... I hadn't thought that this would be tied into what's going on upstairs, that there may be disorganization and miscommunication going on there as well.>>

There is major reorganizing going on upstairs, shifting reality, old laws out new laws in old governance out new governance in shake-up wake-up, which is a must as the earth shifts to a sovereign state and All That Is ascends. Probably best to trust ourselves, which is the point as they say.

Blessings,
Monikah

[Monikah]

To whatever everyone else wrote following Sea's post ... yes.

[Sowelu]

Yes, Liza, if I understand you correctly.

The feelings we encounter when we begin to see how we've been betrayed (by ourselves, even if we can't see that about it yet), are deeply devastating. I know. And we will often even fend off those feelings, too, at first. Because dammit, life is painful enough as it is, can't there be at least one thing we can count on? Even when everything is falling apart including our bodies, can't we at least count on the love and guidance of spirit to get us through?

And the answer is... only if our understanding of those things is without distortion. Otherwise, we will encounter exactly what we fear about those things (love, spirit).

Sucks. Totally, incredibly, completely sucks. And more to the point, for me at least, this experiencing self is not who signed up for this crap! Yet this is the self learning these painful lessons. And it's downright scary! Talk about having your hand forced! The squeeze can get very frightening when you're attempting to sort your way through the maze of possibilities.

And so the only salve becomes finding our heart in moments like that. I discovered that the hard way, desperately trying to find the "right thoughts". The heart is the answer because there... is our eternal life source. The lower emotions (fear) and the mind can't provide nourishment to sustain us. But the heart can and always does, even when we're not looking for it.

And the path to the heart is often deep crying, I've found. Because the mind and lower emotions are in the way until we "lose it", literally. And when we can finally allow ourselves those deep tears, admitting our sense of victimization, woundedness, the unfairness of everything from a vulnerable place... we finally open to truth.

It's then that we can finally hear the whispers of how much we're ok, and always will be. Regardless of what happens on the physical level, regardless of what we think or fear, we're eternal and ok and completely loved and supported. And when we can't make it another minute, give up if you can't surrender, and you'll discover that you're still here moments later. You were carried through that dark place despite your fear. That's the truth. The fear is illusion, life is eternal, and that's the real truth.

(And from that calming, peaceful place, we can open to all we need for this life.)

((((Hugs and love))))
Sowelu