Looking at the Monster of Imperfection-MaryannRada

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Looking at the Monster of Imperfection

Maryann Rada
December 9, 2009

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Over the past month, I have been going through some kind of transformation from within the core of my being, and nothing in my path is safe from the fire. It has been getting to the most deeply buried ideas about love that I have ever consciously accessed. How I have experienced it is a fully interactive arcade of imperfections steadily pointing out to me what I am experiencing is a form of imperfection in my concept of myself. For my part, I have rolled up my sleeves and am breaking a lot of belief structures and OM is in the background of it all. If we are all on the verge of finishing our lessons as a planet, it is important that we finish our lessons as they appear from moment to moment throughout the day.

It’s not as if this is the final exam, but we do seem to be entering a period of expectancy, open to the possibility for fractalline tangents to our central sphere of beingness to return in full awareness of love. It feels to me like we have been wandering around in circles and have suddenly realized that all the paths we took were each part of a holographic design leading back to the central point of integration.

I haven’t given much thought about how this transformation is going. I’m really just trying to ride it out. It feels like it wouldn’t matter if I knew, anyway. It’s all going to be just fine. First, though, I have to deal with the reality in front of me, and change what I can to bring myself into alignment with the place my soul is driving at. It is the only thing I have any true control over, the way I choose to respond to my reality. It is the only way I can change anything else, is to change it within myself first. Which means I have to look at it and acknowledge its existence before it dissolves into something else. I have learned this from my son, who says if you look at the monsters, they will disappear. It is sage advice.

I have changed what I can in my environment, moving things around, cutting my hair, and forcing myself to savor a cup of tea for a few minutes every day. I enjoy the change in perspective, and the reality I see through this newly focused lens is showing the imperfections starkly in contrast to the picture that pulsates with life in the background of my awareness. I am seeing the energies of change sweeping through as if doing a final check-in before themselves changing into something completely new and unexpected. And the unexpected is probably the only sure thing we can expect.

Which brings me to a topic that has been much on my mind: expectation. It is the step beyond intention. It is the nail the hammer of intention hits. It is the single point toward which desires end before becoming manifest. It comes at me from all sources, and has positioned itself as the governing concept for this particular time and place. Tell me, what do you expect from life? Could it be the thing you say you expect is merely the thing you want? If you really want to see where you have to change in order to get closer in alignment with peace, look at the things in your present reality that you consider points of imperfection. Look at the reactions you allow, the emotional response you choose to fuel, the words you would use to describe the reality imperfections you experience now.

Could it be that those are clues to what you truly expect life to throw at you? I look at my own set of circumstances from this lifetime, and I see that I have always expected, in some form, disappointment. This is a powerful frequency modulator, to recognize the true nature of your own expectations. It is from that point that you can apply the logic of a 5-year-old monster fan to good measure. Look your imperfect self square in the eye and say, without a moment’s hesitation, with a full breath of air, “You are an aspect of my soul that has come home to be loved. Know you are loved and release the frequency you have held. Become pure encodement of love in the form of light, and return to OM.”

It helps to have a laser blaster handy, for any really stuck energies, so says the monster fan. Noted.

I’m blessed to have so many distractions to focus on. I’m getting extra credit for that thought pattern showing up. These are the things I tell myself to get me through the chaos that is coming with the tide of change. The family dinner is at my table this Christmas, and there is a lot to do to get ready for that. It will be good to have a chance to share with my mother what I have learned from her in the kitchen. The tree is up and decorated, the house getting ready for company, and so much going on with the Renegades and the online community of resonance!


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