Post by Nicole on Jan 25, 2006 13:20:02 GMT -5
You've got to read the last paragraph about the elephant.
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HARPER'S WEEKLY REVIEW
By Paul Ford
In Iraq 30 people were killed at makeshift checkpoints, 22 people died in suicide bombings, 9 people were killed in an ambush, 5 bodies were found in the Qaid River, 4 children were killed by rocket-propelled grenades, and 2 American civilians were killed in a roadside bombing. Suicide bombings killed at least 22 people in Afghanistan and injured 30 people in Tel Aviv. Osama bin Laden released a tape in which he warned of new attacks on the United States and offered a truce. "Your president," said bin Laden, "is misinterpreting public opinion polls which show that the vast majority of you support the withdrawal of your forces from Iraq." Bin Laden also encouraged Americans to read the book *Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower* by William Blum. Bin Laden's deputy Ayman Al-Zawahiri released his own tape and recited a poem called "Tears in the Eyes of Time." It was reported that Iraqi militants had developed an "Aerial Improvised Explosive Device" that could blow up helicopters. The U.S. Army raised its maximum enlistment age to 39, and the U.S. State Department said that there was a very high chance that terrorists would attack the United States with weapons of mass destruction. America celebrated the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Al Gore compared the FBI's spying on King to the Bush Administration's authorizing spying on American citizens, and New York Senator Hillary Clinton said that Republicans were running the House of Representatives "like a plantation." Republicans disagreed with Clinton, and Al Sharpton complained that she was stealing his material. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that the rebuilt New Orleans "will be chocolate at the end of the day." He clarified: "You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about." One New Orleans resident said that Nagin "used the wrong dairy product." Three thousand two hundred people were still missing in New Orleans. Google refused to comply with a Bush Administration subpoena demanding the records for a week's worth of search queries. Yahoo! and Microsoft, however, complied fully, while America Online said it had complied partially. The White House refused to provide any details of meetings between Bush Administration staff and lobbyist Jack Abramoff. "We are not," said White House spokesman Scott McLellan, "going to engage in a fishing expedition."
Two more miners died in West Virginia. Japan blocked imports of American beef after a spine was discovered in a shipment from a U.S. meatpacker. Russia accused the U.K. of spying in Moscow, and offered a data-transmitting fake spy rock as evidence. California executed 76-year-old, blind, wheelchair-bound, mostly deaf, diabetic Clarence Ray Allen. "It's a good day to die," said Allen via a statement. In Chile socialist and former political prisoner Michelle Bachelet was elected president; she will be the first woman to lead Chile. Bolivia swore in Evo Morales as its first indigenous president. "From 500 years of resistance," said Morales, "we pass to another 500 years in power." In Nairobi a young hippo named Owen and a 130-year-old tortoise named Mzee celebrated a year of friendship, and in Tokyo a hamster named Gohan ("snack") and a rat snake were still friends after two years. Nigeria planned to make it a crime, punishable by five years in jail, to participate in or officiate at a same-sex marriage. A two-year, $939,233 study commissioned by the U.S. Justice Department found that inmates who claim to have been raped in prison are usually lying. In prison, the study explained, sexual pressure is not seen as coercion; rather, "sexual pressure ushers, guides, or shepherds the process of sexual awakening." A man in Australia escaped from prison by losing enough weight to slip through a hole. There was a shortage of women in India, possibly due to endemic female feticide; as a result, women can cost up to $136 each or more.
It was cold in Russia. People were smearing goose fat on their bodies to stop frostbite, and near Moscow zookeepers fed an Indian elephant a bucket of vodka to keep it warm; the elephant then went on a rampage, tore radiators from a wall, and calmed down only after it was given a hot shower. Scientists in London found more evidence of a link between the parasite Toxoplasma gondii in cat feces and the development of schizophrenia in rats. In San Jose, California, Anna Ayala, who planted a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili, was sentenced to nine years in prison. Her husband, Jaime Plascencia, who obtained the finger from a co-worker, was given more than twelve years. It was reported that several of the Guantanamo Bay hunger strikers had started to eat again, while other reports indicated that 30 of the hunger strikers were close to death. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld an Oregon law allowing for physician-assisted suicide. Greenpeace dumped a 55-foot fin whale in front of the Japanese Embassy in Berlin, and in London a northern bottlenosed whale swam up the Thames, sparking a massive rescue effort before the whale died. In El Paso, Texas, a mechanic was sucked into a jet engine. "It doesn't happen very often," said a Boeing spokeswoman. Astronomers in West Virginia discovered a superbubble, a man in Sweden was in trouble for eating his foster sisters, and the French face-transplant patient was smoking through her recently grafted-on lips.
www.harpers.org/WeeklyReview2006-01-24.html
******************
HARPER'S WEEKLY REVIEW
By Paul Ford
In Iraq 30 people were killed at makeshift checkpoints, 22 people died in suicide bombings, 9 people were killed in an ambush, 5 bodies were found in the Qaid River, 4 children were killed by rocket-propelled grenades, and 2 American civilians were killed in a roadside bombing. Suicide bombings killed at least 22 people in Afghanistan and injured 30 people in Tel Aviv. Osama bin Laden released a tape in which he warned of new attacks on the United States and offered a truce. "Your president," said bin Laden, "is misinterpreting public opinion polls which show that the vast majority of you support the withdrawal of your forces from Iraq." Bin Laden also encouraged Americans to read the book *Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower* by William Blum. Bin Laden's deputy Ayman Al-Zawahiri released his own tape and recited a poem called "Tears in the Eyes of Time." It was reported that Iraqi militants had developed an "Aerial Improvised Explosive Device" that could blow up helicopters. The U.S. Army raised its maximum enlistment age to 39, and the U.S. State Department said that there was a very high chance that terrorists would attack the United States with weapons of mass destruction. America celebrated the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Al Gore compared the FBI's spying on King to the Bush Administration's authorizing spying on American citizens, and New York Senator Hillary Clinton said that Republicans were running the House of Representatives "like a plantation." Republicans disagreed with Clinton, and Al Sharpton complained that she was stealing his material. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that the rebuilt New Orleans "will be chocolate at the end of the day." He clarified: "You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about." One New Orleans resident said that Nagin "used the wrong dairy product." Three thousand two hundred people were still missing in New Orleans. Google refused to comply with a Bush Administration subpoena demanding the records for a week's worth of search queries. Yahoo! and Microsoft, however, complied fully, while America Online said it had complied partially. The White House refused to provide any details of meetings between Bush Administration staff and lobbyist Jack Abramoff. "We are not," said White House spokesman Scott McLellan, "going to engage in a fishing expedition."
Two more miners died in West Virginia. Japan blocked imports of American beef after a spine was discovered in a shipment from a U.S. meatpacker. Russia accused the U.K. of spying in Moscow, and offered a data-transmitting fake spy rock as evidence. California executed 76-year-old, blind, wheelchair-bound, mostly deaf, diabetic Clarence Ray Allen. "It's a good day to die," said Allen via a statement. In Chile socialist and former political prisoner Michelle Bachelet was elected president; she will be the first woman to lead Chile. Bolivia swore in Evo Morales as its first indigenous president. "From 500 years of resistance," said Morales, "we pass to another 500 years in power." In Nairobi a young hippo named Owen and a 130-year-old tortoise named Mzee celebrated a year of friendship, and in Tokyo a hamster named Gohan ("snack") and a rat snake were still friends after two years. Nigeria planned to make it a crime, punishable by five years in jail, to participate in or officiate at a same-sex marriage. A two-year, $939,233 study commissioned by the U.S. Justice Department found that inmates who claim to have been raped in prison are usually lying. In prison, the study explained, sexual pressure is not seen as coercion; rather, "sexual pressure ushers, guides, or shepherds the process of sexual awakening." A man in Australia escaped from prison by losing enough weight to slip through a hole. There was a shortage of women in India, possibly due to endemic female feticide; as a result, women can cost up to $136 each or more.
It was cold in Russia. People were smearing goose fat on their bodies to stop frostbite, and near Moscow zookeepers fed an Indian elephant a bucket of vodka to keep it warm; the elephant then went on a rampage, tore radiators from a wall, and calmed down only after it was given a hot shower. Scientists in London found more evidence of a link between the parasite Toxoplasma gondii in cat feces and the development of schizophrenia in rats. In San Jose, California, Anna Ayala, who planted a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili, was sentenced to nine years in prison. Her husband, Jaime Plascencia, who obtained the finger from a co-worker, was given more than twelve years. It was reported that several of the Guantanamo Bay hunger strikers had started to eat again, while other reports indicated that 30 of the hunger strikers were close to death. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld an Oregon law allowing for physician-assisted suicide. Greenpeace dumped a 55-foot fin whale in front of the Japanese Embassy in Berlin, and in London a northern bottlenosed whale swam up the Thames, sparking a massive rescue effort before the whale died. In El Paso, Texas, a mechanic was sucked into a jet engine. "It doesn't happen very often," said a Boeing spokeswoman. Astronomers in West Virginia discovered a superbubble, a man in Sweden was in trouble for eating his foster sisters, and the French face-transplant patient was smoking through her recently grafted-on lips.
www.harpers.org/WeeklyReview2006-01-24.html