Blaaaah

[faydraray]

I understand the catalyst feeling. This morning, I was thinking on past and present situations in my life, and thought "You're a destroyer". I know that sounds awful in a 3D mindset, but I did nothing awful or terrible. It seemed that things just changed or broke up or whatever. It's kind of scary.

....sorry, I lost my train of thought. I suddenly felt like a very small frightened child. Hmm.

Love to ALL,
and Thanks for all your wisdom!
Faydraray

[Sowelu]

(((Hugs!)))

Hi Faydraray!

I've had something similar occur a number of times to me. My sense is that "The Destroyer" is a valid and often feared aspect of the Divine Feminine/Mother energies, and with the Venus Transit, it makes sense we'd get tossed about by it a bit. We've carried it in our energies all the while, but mostly tried to deny it or keep it repressed. Being physical, it's a bit frightening to feel that kind of destructive energy, or that we're made of it.

Following up with a frightened child energy makes perfect sense to me in a heart way. The relationship of humanity to the truth of the Divine Feminine has been one of imbalance, often causing the human aspect to feel like a frightened child in the face of that powerful misunderstood feminine force.

(((Hugs)))

[liza]

Hi Sowey, you don't seem like a person who would stay in a "box" too long. ;D Nuthin' wrong with that.... at least I feel so in my heart.

I'm curious.. do you feel you have given too much in retrospect, when giving advice and feedback? Because I may have picked up a feeling when you said that you weren't to steer others in a certain path even though you share your input. I could be wrong, though!

Maybe it's time to sit under a tree and find a new path to your Nirvana .. Miss Buddha!

[Sowelu]

liza said:

I'm curious.. do you feel you have given too much in retrospect, when giving advice and feedback? Because I may have picked up a feeling when you said that you weren't to steer others in a certain path even though you share your input. I could be wrong, though!

((((Hiya Liza!))))

Hmmm... given too much... I don't think so, actually. What I have found is that quite often I will write a response feeling I've said something as clearly and fully as could possibly be, only to see that the responder isn't quite sure what I mean or if it applies. LOL!

<--- possibly more alien than most? Or at least speaking a different language half the time? LOL!

So maybe it isn't a "too much" thing so much as a "not the right stuff" thing??? Then again, I tend to see any occurrence like that as a lesson for me, and I work through my end and figure everything went as it needed to, you know?

But as to what you might have picked up, I have no real secrets of success or anything, so I don't really feel I'm in a position to consider myself someone's guide or a person with the power or authority to "steer" anyone anywhere, or be mindful or concerned with how much I share... is that what you meant?

I guess it's more a matter of having come to an understanding that all really is as it should be, and while I might be a factor of influence in someone's life, just as everything else they encounter is, my idea of what may or may not be best for them is just that; mine. Therefore it's actually for me. Just being myself without manipulation, guise or feigned mantle of authority is the only way to be. You know?

But that's the point. Because "being myself" is being someone who is less and less concerned with others and their stuff, frankly, unless specifically asked for input. And even then... all I can offer is what works for me to live the way I choose... which might be quite different from how the other person chooses to be anyway, so it's almost a "what's the point?".

Maybe it's time to sit under a tree and find a new path to your Nirvana .. Miss Buddha!

Hahaha!

As I read this a few times, it caused me to realize... again... how little I know of what I would consider "nirvana". Maybe it's this place I'm in lately, but I can't seem to envision a realistic "better life" as a human being, without seriously reconstructing the realm a human being inhabits, and then... well... I haven't reached a level where I can envision life without all these darn constraints. LOL!

If I move to the "ability to teleport, fly, co-locate, etc." ideas, they get old real quick for me. It's like... so what? THEN what? LOL! It's still the same old situation of "live and let live... or die... as each chooses" so again, what's the point?

I WILL say that right now I feel as though perhaps I shouldn't have spewed about all this because I know it's a negative state of mind influencing me, and I don't like to put that out there... but then again, it's where I'm at. So... c'est la vie, you know? LOL!

Thanks so much for probing further, Liza, you're wonderful at that and it's always very helpful for me in getting in deeper touch with what I'm feeling. (((Hugs)))

Love you!
Sowelu

[ADMIN]

SOWELU,
I THINK YOU ARE A NATURAL MAGNET TO ATTRACT PEOPLE SO THAT YOU CAN SHARE YOUR GIFT OF DIRECTION.
WHEN WE HAVE THIS GIFT NATURALLY WE FIND THAT PEOPLE WILL APPROACH US SO THAT WE CAN DO OUR STUFF.
ALSO THOU YOU MAY THINK THAT PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, COULD BE THAT THEY ARE ABSOBING OR THAT WHAT WAS REVEALED TO THEM WAS TRUE AND THEY NEED THE TIME FOR IT TO SINK IN... I SAY THIS CAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME AND I HAVE GIVEN MUCH THOUGHT TO YOUR REPLIES, WHICH BY THE WAY HAVE ASTOUNDED ME!!! ;D
AFTER SOMETHING LIKE THAT, WHAT MORE CAN ONE SAY?
BY THE WAY YOUR SHARING HOW YOU FEEL IN NO WAY IS NEGATIVE, IT'S FREE EXPRESSION AND IF WE CAN'T DO THAT WE MIGHT AS WELL STOP SPEAKING! HEHEHEHE! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND DON'T CHANGE, OF COURSE YOU BECOME A GURU, THEN THAT'S ANOTHER STORY...
ANG KEEP GIVING YOUR GIFT TO THE NEEDY.

[liza]

Sowelu, you're welcome, sweetie! ;D Hey, it's my specialty - digging. It can freak out some people (I've been told that! LOL), so stop me right there if you want to. Hey, no problem.

Why do you choose to do the things you do, be it flying, laughing, or eating when others do it differently or think differently - if the ultimate question is asked: What's the point? How does this relate to a personal nirvana? Is for you that the goal is an ultimate enlightenment, great psychic accomplishments (OBE, you name it), having a great take on life, being self assured, or is it something else that I don't know yet about? Hey, let me know if I missed the ship that sailed in for you... hey, I understand that you put out forth all that you are and what you were, without any expectations of the outcomes and choices others make - I can vibe with that. Real cool!

If you feel too alien at times, I feel the same way - most of the time! LOL maybe this is a bit off the topic - Sometimes I have a need to speak someone else's language to bring across my point, and that works well for me. Sometimes I just wanna use my own language... and I aint talkin about sign language either ::giggle:: do you feel that way, too? Ah, oh yeah I admit probably being the dense one, at times I feel like I wanna read some of your posts a few times to make sure I "get" ya, but then maybe you're just being clever enough to get someone like me to ask you questions and dig deeper. **wicked grin** You sly one, you! I would love to learn your "language" and your world, if it's allright with you. Maybe you don't see it this way, and I guess it's the best I can put into words through my own "filter." ;D It's a real interest for me to learn about what things mean to people, and what motivates them to do or say the things they do. Maybe I'm an ET humanologist in disguise! Good excuse to learn more about myself through you huh? Maybe even, it goes both ways...

BTW, all that you do and say, is just channeling a part of yourself (perhaps even me and others) according to Edgar Cayce - and I agree! I guess we're back to the square one of mirrors?

I'm having fun, too! ;D *evil grin*

[Sowelu]

Wow... (((((Thank you, MirRA!)))))

I guess I missed your reply when you wrote it, but I sure saw it now! (((Hugs)))

I can feel truth in what you wrote, too, and I guess what I'm beginning to realize is that what I've been going through is assimilating Who I Am, perhaps.

I mean... the human aspects of self have a hard time understanding certain things about how my life goes, and I suppose these pieces of me want to own it or control it - or maybe it isn't even that heavy, perhaps my mind is simply trying to understand my heart in earnest. This, of course, is part of the standard struggle we all have since coming here.

Once "I" understand that it is not for me to own or control but rather to simply cooperate and let go... I open to lots of mental and emotional energy of old that wants acknowledgement and release. I think that's where I've been (in the writing above in this thread)... at least, so far it seems that way.

Because... my heart does hear calls, and I do respond - with pleasure, I might add - when it does. It's a feeling that I can be the right vehicle for information for another, I feel it, I open to it, and I respond. So...

I think I was trying to get my mind (not the heart) around just how it all works and why it works... not necessarily something my mind will ever fully grok, but the process of trying to understand seems to have value, nonetheless.

As you can see, I had to face and express the insecurity of a mind that can't quite see the value in that which it doesn't quite understand (responding from the heart). That's what I see my writing above as, at this point.

It was also followed by some incredibly wonderful heart exchanges between myself and others on this board over the last few days/week, and I FELT how unifying it actually is to respond and share in that manner...

So NOW my mind has a better understanding of why it can't be in the lead in these things. ;D If I let it lead, I'd never experience the uniting feeling that's possible when you come from the heart. Letting my heart lead serves not just the heart, but the mind as well. Seeing that, I sense the mind is more likely to let go its grip on attempting to control.

I have no idea if this makes sense to others, but this is just one phase of a very long struggle to "raise my mind" to a level of awareness where it no longer fears or needs to "protect", but can finally let go and trust. Where it no longer vies for the head honcho position in my energies, because it CHOOSES to recognize that wholeness (coming from, living from, being in... the heart, which is NOW time) is far more conducive to getting its needs met then it's sole control and "leadership" could ever be.

COOL, eh???

Liza, though this isn't in a separate post, perhaps this response to MirRA can also serve to answer yours? It seems to be what I've come to, at least for now, so I feel "done" with the topic. Again, at least for the time being. If something else arises, I'll of course write about it Love you! (((Hugs)))

Many thanks and blessings to you,
Sowelu

[liza]

Love ya too Sowey ;D