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Post by Nicole on Apr 8, 2005 15:19:15 GMT -5
Rob,
AH, as Ira would say, remember that "It's all about ME!" Meaning, it's not that someone is DOING anything to you - it's about how you feel about yourself. Your feelings about others actions are a reflection of how you feel about yourself deep inside in so many words. When you feel hurt BY someone else, think to yourself about how it makes you FEEL. Dig deeper into why you feel this way. You'll eventually find the core issue.
By the way, I miss you Ira if you're reading incognito! Hugs!!
Hope that helps a bit Rob.
Hugs,
Nicole
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Post by ADMIN on Apr 8, 2005 16:34:04 GMT -5
Nicole,
Maybe we can e-mail Ira. Haven't heard from the Geezer in a while.
His e-mail should be in his profile, maybe you could ask if he is still around or did he disappear? LOL! Maybe they took him aboard a ship?
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Post by Nicole on Apr 8, 2005 16:48:56 GMT -5
He wouldn't go if they didn't pipe in football! LOL
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Post by zor7b on Apr 8, 2005 17:47:02 GMT -5
Got to have football .
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Post by zor7b on Apr 8, 2005 17:49:10 GMT -5
Rob......was Shannon your first girlfriend ?
Mark
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Post by edge19 on Apr 8, 2005 20:58:38 GMT -5
Hi Zor-b,
She was not my first girlfriend. I'm curious as to why you ask this. In fact she was far from it, she was someone who actually was able to tame me so to speak. I was very 'liberal' in my ways before I got with Shannon, but this girl...I just loved her so much that every other girl in the world didn't exist anymore, none of them were pretty to me...I just didn't care about anything anymore (going out with friends, sex, etc.)
I was with a girl before Shannon named Lisa. When we got together I was a normal inshape healthy guy. About a month into it all, I got Ulcerative Colitis and my life flipped upside down on me. I had to be within 10 seconds of a bathroom or it was literally too late (number 2, by the way, hehe). I expected Lisa to dump me because of all of this because it was all too much. Keep in mind that I only got with Lisa cuz everyone told me I was nuts if I didn't. That's how I was, shallow, materialistic..etc.
To my surprise, Lisa not only stayed with me, she took care of me and even helped me clean up when a bathroom was out of reach. I was stupified cuz I had never been shown that kind of love before...EVER! She was the most understanding person in the whole world and she loved me with every ounce of her. Things didn't work out because I drank so much and I forgot how special she was.
I met Shannon and all of a sudden things flipped around. Now I had the chance to do for Shannon what Lisa had done for me...take care of her and love her like no one else had ever done...but I did it cuz I loved SHannon. I even overlooked some shady things that happened within the first 2 months of our relationship. I took care of her for a year straight when she started coming off of her meds. (I'm not sure if I can say this stuff anymore...she said she was leaving but I don't know if she did, so I don't want to say too much cuz I don't wanna break any rules) Let's just say it was basically identical to what Lisa did for me. Coming off of meds is something that was tried before and it was really really bad.
This is why I'm upset now. Nothing in our relationship was wrong...except the fact that she's coming off of her meds. This is why I'm kinda holding on to it all because I'm not convinced she's 100% aware of what she's doing and neither does her family (her mom still calls me). Just all of a sudden, it's like she doesn't care about everything.
This is why a few weeks back I said that this is all bad karma, because I did it to Lisa and now I"m having it done to me. I just wish I could go back and fix some things.
I sure hope I didn't break any rules here. Shannon said she was leaving so that's the only reason why I kind of elaborated a little more. I wish she didn't. But since she did I thought I could better explain what happened so that maybe I could recieve some more informed insight. If I did do something wrong here, please remove the post and PM me so I can make sure I know not to give this many details anymore.
NIK!! Your post made so much sense to me by the way. Holy moly, it was a lightbulb moment, thanks for that.
Thanks,
Rob
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Post by zor7b on Apr 8, 2005 21:37:34 GMT -5
Breaking up is hard Rob...no matter how many or how few I guess you go through....I feel your frustration and know letting go is not easy..
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Post by Indigofruitloop on Apr 18, 2005 6:14:51 GMT -5
Dear brother and sister,
the love you want to give to others that you feel you do give, start giving it to yourself...reading through the posts i felt both of your pain and it's evident to me that you both still really do love eachother but this is NOT the issue, it's about loving yourselves first and foremost.....i say this because this is why my last relationship hit the rocks......my relationship brought up many things that i pushed back but because i wasnt integrated within myself i would react to cetain things even if that wasnt the intent.......this is what happens....i'm still to this day working upon it......since january i've experienced my own personal tsunami....lol
either way i feel a great love there but at the moment and i think you both know this it's about sorting yoursleves out first......if it's meant to be that you will join back together then it will be.....forcing things will not create a happy ending.......there is a happy ending though and new beginning if you choose it..........at the same time dont hang on to the point that you knew eachother in other lifetimes etc, that will not keep it going...perhaps you came together to get yoursleves to the point you are at now....it;s a big learning curve.....also there is a very good reason we are born to remember its' aprt of it all and so even though it's difficult you cant expect the other to know what you know....we do get to this point though when we expect that our love knows all that is within us however it's about learnign from one anther and growing together and not feeding off one another, that is vampirism.
heal the IC and who knows how things can change and transform....i'm doing this work myself and it's not an easy path to step onto because so much unexpected stuff comes up.....and it's usually stuff you thought you had deal with and if you're anything like me i get pissed off thniking i'm over this shit why do i have to go throught this again...well the answer is there....need i say more.....you both sound so beautriful and really do love one another so i really do hope it works out whichever way it plays out....
there are issues here of boundaries yes but also with self worth.......just dont beat yourselves up or eachother, you are both very beautiful.......
namaste
indigofruitloop (Nicole)
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Post by healing16 on Apr 18, 2005 11:46:57 GMT -5
well said Indigo..your post made me feel so much better...that is what i have been trying to get at for along time...but people keep telling Rob that i am just 'bullshitting' him about that....and I am not..I love him and i know he loves me..but its not always black and white like that...both of us need to go and work on our issues..we both have SOOOO many he he...we came together at a time and both learned so much from eachother and helped eachother grow..we both tried so hard to make it work and did the best we could...and it was time to go our seperate ways to heal ourselves..and make oursleves complete before getting into a serious relationship...thanks for understanding Indigo...u made me feel better
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