ye ole ascended gods can go to hades

[liza]

Well, yeah... what I'm not really understanding here is the magnitude of my mistrust/anger towards those who are "ascended gods." I think I'd better get this resolved soon before I poison the forum with my anger unintentionally! Yikes! Input? Suggestions?

For the record, I have the feeling I've been used by such people for a long time. In this lifetime, I've allowed myself to be used a few times (my mother & her Christianity, NC, and so called friends). In other lifetimes, I can easily bring up the AI lifetime.. and all these lifetimes I've been used in relationships, and set aside for better choice in partners. That didn't happen in this lifetime, though.. because I was always ending relationships before I would get hurt. I'm surprised I am in a 5 year long relationship, much less being married for 3!

If you know Odo the shapeshifter from Star Trek Deep Space 6 - that's me, pretty much. The Great Link is elusive yet I know it's there. I am overrall suspicious and pretty skeptic, and I have a strong sense of justice (hypervigilance could be one of the post traumatic stress disorder symtpms). Odo's people are the Founders, gods to many in the Dominion. I can compare the Founders to the ascended masters. Odo is as charming in his own way as I am in my own way. *grin* Yet I feel pretty alone. It's intentional, because... well, I don't know. I don't have a sense of belonging anywhere.. not even in most new age communities. I don't know if I want to be alone anymore, but I don't know where to start without making people really weirded out around me. Part of my charm, I suppose? Perhaps I'm just overstating...

[Edward]

Hello Liza,

I'll start by saying,

"You've gotta let it all go Neo. Fear, Doubt and Disbelief, free your mind"

I can't get enough of this quote as for it is such a profound statement and and oh so true. It has many applications.

You are scared, scared to feel, scared to trust and scared to feel. You are also heistant. Which is quite understanably so. You have to feel comfortable with yourself first. Don't worry about "not" fitting in and wacking/wierding out other people. I know at first this is may sound like, " well that's easy for you to say". I know trust is a big issue and rejection is also another one. As long as you set your boundries, work with integrity and don't give your power away you are going to find that you will be drawing the things you desire to you. And those situations that you may find yourself in that have been uncomfortable in the past will all but disappear and even when you are in the midst of them you won't be effected by it because you have moved on and have established yourself and there is no longer a reason to self doubt and judge yourself in those situations. So you will be standing in your power so to speak and with a air of confidence. In essence those things won't bother you any more.

It all comes downn to speaking your truth and standing in yoru power. Don't be afraid to say what you want to say. You have voiced your concern here and that is a sign that you are willing to change things. All you have to do is to act on it further. Take small steps if need be and before you know(quite literally) you will have changed your thought patterns and changed the way you handle yourself in those situations.

Know in your heart of hearts that you do belong and that true love and appriciation comes from with-in first. When you start appriciating and loving yourself you will attract and draw those in that will also appriciate and love you as well. Remember Like attracts like.

(((((((Hugs))))))))

Peace, Love and Enlightenment,

Ed

[liza]

*hugs* Ed, thank you for your insights. I don't appreciate myself enough, that's true. It is also far easier for me to look at others' issues than it is to do mine, I'll tell ya! I can see solutions for others... but not for myself... what possibilities do I have?

*in a gruff voice odo would be proud of*
Is it not interesting that we are also spirits experiencing the physical?

I'll continue to study this. *inserts myself in a fishbowl* Feel free to do the same

[Edward]

liza said:

It is also far easier for me to look at others' issues than it is to do mine, I'll tell ya! I can see solutions for others... but not for myself... what possibilities do I have?

I know this road here very well. Often what solutions we can find for others are the same solutions we can use or ourselves. We just fail to implement them into our lives. It sounds like you are very insightful with others and helping them out. Now turn that around, listen to the advice you give because most certainly it is coming from your own personal experience. Look for these insights and then start apply them in your life. Basically what I am saying is practice what you preach. More often than not from what I have found in my own life that I have had alot of great advice but I had been lacking to take it myself and hence the positioin and state I was in.

Liza you are a powerful and insightful being. Very wise. I know it's been frustrating, trust in yourself, believe in yourself and most importantly listen to yourself. Now as I type this I am seeing some own parrallels in my life at this time. Learn to pick up on the things you write and say and start recognizing that by applying your same great insight to yourself you will be helping you in so many ways and that's part of loving yourself and it feel's so good when you start seeing it and start to realize how smart, powerful and resourcefully you truely are. You start to appriciate yourself and this self love really does Lift you up and you start to change your being.

Peace, Love and Enlightenment,

Ed