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Post by AgeA on Nov 10, 2005 8:39:27 GMT -5
I am sorry but I have to delete my original posts after very impolite comment made by a certain member in other conference I realized that my very personal stories here in E/C conference can be used in the future in the wrong way against all the people I mentioned. I never asked for personal permission of the other side to post it here but also never realized that there is a real danger something so private can be used against them. I feel responsibility here to protect the future of all the people I mentioned. Once again, I am sorry but I have to delete all my original posts now as I can see real possibility of a danger they (were) can be used beyond the borders of the Emotional/Clearing Board (where i intended to clear this just for myself) and even beyond this forum in the real life which most certainly dissapoint all the people I love. I just dont feel safe to post that kind of information here anymore.
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Post by AgeA on Nov 10, 2005 14:57:56 GMT -5
I believe that we create conflicts for ourselves to learn something on Higher level. So in any conflict/situation both persons equally responsible. So what I am trying to figure out here is why had I created this for myself. .
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Post by liza on Nov 10, 2005 15:37:09 GMT -5
AgeA, you know you're always supported by spirit & the love of that spirit.. right?  We're our own worst critics... Having an equal partner in your life to share in with all the joys for a lifetime with you - I know that is possible for you. Follow your heart. Keep on doing what you feel is right for you. I think you were meant to explore feelings in this lifetime... both negative and positive to know how it is like. Patience will win brownie points with anyone Be patient with yourself and with your potential mate. Don't rush things, just because you already have your expectations. Things seem to be a bit undeveloped between you and this woman. Because you seem to be a little confused right now, I think you should date more women to explore the full spectrum of your feelings and your sensuality. Do not apologize for that. IMO, and you are totally entitled to your feelings & thoughts. |
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Post by Nicole on Nov 10, 2005 20:47:31 GMT -5
AgeA,
First, your reaction was harsh and you put your assumptions on top of her actions and they didn't match. She didn't do it how you would have, but it doesn't mean she meant you ill will.
That said, sounds to me like she's jerking you around with her demands. I'd kick her to the curb if it was me. No time to play those types of games. Live and learn. Many other fish out there!
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Post by AgeA on Nov 11, 2005 2:21:41 GMT -5
One of my friends just lost his girl cause she wanted to explore herself. They were in love and then she slept with another guy. He is hurt now and he wanted to have a family. My two other friends who are a couple now not all that happy together and fight. I know he knows they wont be together forever. I am hurt too.
My Heart is bleeding now
I am hurting
My Heart is falling apart
my head fell down
MY Heart is dying slowly
I wish I would die
She said I want to hang myself
Go right ahead and I will follow you
Love has no fear
At least we will be together then
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Post by liza on Nov 11, 2005 11:15:05 GMT -5
Red alarm going off for me with that new girl you're seeing...
You know that money won't buy you the real thing - and if that's how she conducts herself in the early stage of a relationship.. I would drop her like a hot potato immediately. You deserve better than that, IMO!
And you're welcome.
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Post by AgeA on Nov 12, 2005 13:21:53 GMT -5
Thank you Liza! I do deserve better than that.
We are no longer together as of yesterday and it is over and I am lonely again.
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Post by LilliHart on Nov 14, 2005 19:41:01 GMT -5
AgeA,
Why would you automatically think you were 'wrong'? Sounds like she is pulling your strings and you are jumping like a puppet. Stand back and take a deep breath. Do you LIKE feeling like this? How would you counsel a friend who told you the same story that you are relayed here?
Relationships have to be balanced be healthy. In one month it is diffiicult to know anyone and to consider living with someone, might not be a realistic idea. To me, it seems you are moving too fast within your self. Desperation is NOT love and ceratinly not something on which to base a relationship.
If I were you I'd take a huge step backwards, take time off from this 'relatinonship' and contemplate what is really going on here. A lesson?
I have always told my kids when they were younger, it's not so important how others see you and what they think of you...what's more important is what you think of them and how being with them makes you feel. If it makes you miserable then it's not bringing you joy.
Good luck with this.
Liliahnah
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Post by dutchraven on Dec 1, 2005 20:11:25 GMT -5
Thank you Liza! I do deserve better than that. We are no longer together as of yesterday and it is over and I am lonely again. AgeA, We've not met as of yet, but I feel compelled to give you a hug here.. Don't worry about your lonelyness, I hope you'll take the time you need to feel all one instead of lonely. I've been through a bad break-up myself in september this year, and only now I begin to really see the blessings in this. I've never really felt all worthy by myself, thought I needed other to complete me. But its incredible what you are all by your Self. Enjoy you ! Sure it takes time, but in the time we spend alone we can learn alot about ourselves and the way we can feel about others, we can become stronger in our own energy and more compassionate out of that base. Not only towards others, but towards ourselves as well. To know that you "deserve" is a good start, right? And you'll find trust in yourself and your life, and even in meeting someone special someday, when you really feel like it again, not out of perceived need or lonelyness, but out of sheer love. I hope I am not way out of line here, cause I really don't know you that well. I just hope I can ease your pain a little. I really know how a broken heart feels, if nothing else, you can count on that. Love, Dutch Raven |
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Post by AgeA on Dec 8, 2005 13:08:24 GMT -5
Hi DutchRaven sorry I havent replied to you earlier. I understand what you are saying about being on your own. I know how you feel now as being alone does have some nice things about it, but I dont want to be alone now. I was lonely way too long. I need a companion and I have one but I want to be in Love. There is no balance between male and female yet no matter what someone says. Yes, women taking back their power and very much independent now. However everything doesnt come without a price. You see we all One and men are part of this Oneness. There is no way 'men souls' or 'men' can be just disregarded and left on their own. Otherwise, they have no reason to be here and many men live without 'Love' literally and figuratively. Men cant live without women as this reality was designed for two and this is how it works best here. In the future who knows perhaps their will be no longer men and women but just one sex or Unisex but that didnt happen yet.
I see so many lonely women now and so many lonely guys and there is absolutely nothing good about it. We must share our love with others and yes part of it being together with opposite sex. (However I must admit it is very difficult to find compatible partner.) This is how it works I didnt made it this way. I dont even begin to talk about how many problems of physochological and physical nature I see in people who are without a partner including myself. Guys especially begin to hate themselves and others because a man was made to love a woman there is no way around it.
You know at one time I was very negative about prostitutes and women who sleep with many guys but no longer. In fact, I would say there are doing 'God's work' fullfliling the call that someone has to do. There is nothing 'bad' about it except in our judgment and our mind. We create those judgments 'programming' for ourselves. One thing I noticed when going in higher realms that not only male/female difference not pronounced but also there is extended families so to speak. And what to say we all One family of angels of 12 Rays of Consciousness.
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Post by dutchraven on Dec 11, 2005 14:50:42 GMT -5
I know what you mean... in a way, my heart and soul are still longing silently to embrace another being fully in love. So I can imagine that if this situation stays the same for too long (like you said it is in your case) that I would begin to fall out of balance. Now lucky for me this is not the case yet, I am still recovering a bit from giving too much of myself.. So yes I am in that delightful period of enjoyment to be with ME. No, loneliness isn't fun, but I think being Allone can be. So much fear surrounding the interrelations between men and women, no wonder many choose to flee from it... We have a long way to go as a human race before love shared isn't love scared anymore. There's too much jangle bangle 'round this whole romance/sex thing, I wonder why we made this all so intricate. I do suspect if we go up a notch, following our bliss and heart, being in our powerful center, acknowledging eachother as divine counterparts, we begin to finally experiance the freedom and realease in love. No expectations but an intense love in respect for eachother. I wish for you that you will have that ache healed real soon AgeA. Remember who you are  And about the other remark you made.. In Holland prostitution is made legal a couple of years ago, so its a real job overhere, not really one I aspire to, but valid in its own way. I am glad you too acknowledge their valuable task. Not that long ago prostitutes were priestesses, in a way that makes much more sense than the poor conditions and treatment they get now a days as a socalled thankyou.. Love, Dutch Raven |
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Post by AgeA on Dec 12, 2005 11:46:31 GMT -5
Thank you DutchRaven for your kind comments. I do still have hurt in me left from my last break up.
DutchRaven you right about the prostitutes being priestesses. In some cultures it is still practiced like in India. Indeed, women who work in temples respected for their work and protected. In the rest of the world this kind of work is at the bottom of society ladder and unfortunately not respected. We live in a very unbalanced world indeed.
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Post by sama on Dec 14, 2005 17:23:12 GMT -5
yes. prostitution well deserves the title of the oldest profession, but it was also a sacred duty at one time.
i cannot remember for certain exactly where this was, but i do know that in one city-state/country, call it what you will, it was the sacred duty of every married woman to offer herself on the temple steps. the first man who came along and desired her, would take her to a cubicle where they would have sex. i believe that this was the woman becoming the goddess in her relations with mankind.
and agea - hon, i want to give you a huge hug.... it is hard being alone when you desperately want to be part of a couple, but believe me, it DOES get easier, and eventually you get to a point where you cherish and nurture your own company! i speak from a LOT of experience here, believe me, and it has taken me the best part of thirteen years to be totally comfortable with myself, by myself.
hugs
sama
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We're our own worst critics... 