ANY Women with male inner children...HELP!!!!!!!!!

[creatorgoddess]

So,,,I have been on the path for Recoding, Ascending, doing the work that this Reptilian from Andromeda with a shitload of 2nd chakra issues (Can you say my home race has SERIOUS reproduction issues!) Began to work with an AWESOME galactic counselor.....met my inner child, devoloped a wonderful relationship with her...left my mother's house....had an emotional breakdown,,,,check into the psych center....diagnoses...Borderline personality disorder....been going through my lessons....have learned to stay in my body....struggle with eating issues...still....Learned how to receive things.....messages, materialistic stuff,,,gave up the tarot cards, pendulums, psychics...learned to trust my intuition....


NOW....discover I have a male inner child and now after ALL of this work...found out I have OVARIAN difficulties on my right side...(masculine) which triggered HUGE fear of never having children,,,and NOW I discover I have another I.C....who is JUST as pissed off as his sister was when Shari and I first started out developing our relationship....I basically hate men which OF course is a HUGE problem for a MALE inner child....and they only way he communicates is to kick my hip and tell me to go fuck myself....needless to say....I am fucking going bonkers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH and by the fucking way, My 9d self Shakti has arrived so we can do a GOD DAMN soul BRAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I have gained another 10 fucking pounds which would be okay except I already have an extra 130 ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nicole]

Creatorgoddess,

First, you can decline to have the braid with Shakti, or postpone it until you're better prepared to handle it. It's your sovereign choice.

If you've been working with a GC, the you know that how you treat or feel about others (males) is how you've been treating your IC, so of course he's in pain. But what better way to heal both than to start with your male IC? Perhaps if you can open your heart to him then he will start to communicate differently. I am sure the outer hatred of men stems from this inner issue.

If you need help let us know!

Hugs!
Nicole

[LilliHart]

HI Creatorgoddess,
And remember your IC is a child and as a child it needs your love and a safe place to be. Doesn't matter what sex it is. As you love yourself/IC your feelings toward men will evolve.

And having had a sould braid myself for many, many years I agree that you can decline to braid with this being until you are ready...and if that never happens that is ok too.

I terminated my soul braid only a few months ago when I was ready to come back fully into the body and no longer agreed to share it. And she was grateful and at peace with her experience and moved on. She comes to visit once in a while and needs a place to crash so I let her stay for a bit now and then but never like before and she never tries to braid with me now.

So you have a lot of control here and it's just a matter of your taking the reigns and stating your desires.

Love
Liliahnah

[jofiel]

Liliahnah: I am curious about a "soul braid". It seems you were relieved to terminate yours. Would you be willing to share more info about your experience of a soul braid. I will google to see if I can find info on soul braid. I"ve been wanting to buld my relationship with my soul and am surprised that you are more comfortable with yours unbraided.

Thanks,
Jofiel

[LilliHart]

jofiel said:

Liliahnah: I am curious about a "soul braid". It seems you were relieved to terminate yours. Would you be willing to share more info about your experience of a soul braid. I will google to see if I can find info on soul braid. I"ve been wanting to buld my relationship with my soul and am surprised that you are more comfortable with yours unbraided.

Thanks,
Jofiel

Hi Jofiel,
I can write a bit here but I have not been at my best these last days, being quite ill so won't go into it too deeply.

In my case my 'soul braid' was not with my SOUL but with another being who requested permission to use my body for her own learning in the physical.

I on the other hand, wanted out for a long, long time but was unable to leave and in the end unwilling to relinquish the body.

but I did agree to allow this being, an insectoid mantis queen to join me in a braid that has lasted for the majority of my life, ending only recently.

At the time it was an interesting and sometimes pleasant and sometimes not to pleasant learing experience for us both. She still hangs around and and sometimes comes back in to visit but never requests to remain...Nor would I agree at this time. The lessons have been learned.

I will consider about writing more in time but for now this is all I can muster feeling so out of sorts.

I will say this. A soul braid is not a typical walk-in experience and it is a very challenging task for the two souls involved. In my opinion it is also not a joining of the lower and high aspects of self in the body...it is actually hosting another being along with being in there yourself. Like having someone come to live in your house permanently....You should just hope it's not your mother-in-law.

Liliahnah

[liza]

Dear CreatorGoddess, I would like to insert another perspective here regarding your story.

First, let me applaud you for taking so many courageous steps in your life!!

Secondly, it sounds to me as if you are experiencing post stress trauma disorder. It doesn't mean you have a mental illness. On the contrary. The mind can only take so much stress, and the mind (Ego/Inner child) develops ways to protect you (ie eating, feeling disconnected, expressing stuffed anger in unhealthy outlets such as borderline disorder, etc etc) You have cited enough "symptoms" in your posts to make me wonder about that. I could be wrong, though! *hugs*

There are all kinds of stress that can hurt the IC- and I wonder what kind of stress is "on" your male IC's back this time. I have a feeling since the stress is related to men, and why you hate men. Something happened. *hugs* They call this PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder. I want to be sensitive to your feelings in this aspect. Please let me know if I have stepped on your toes!

Perhaps you have been given a nudge by your higher self to go in a different direction, split off from the awesome and difficult direction you've been on for a long time (stuffing, protective mode by IC, living in head all the time, etc etc).. and you may be finding that you are having difficulty going in a different direction and your IC is protesting.. but in order to make the transformation successfully, maybe you and your female IC need to integrate the male IC before going on? I don't know? If you need space, you can tell your higher self so.. and breathe that big sigh of relief.. have a small powwow.. and when you're ready... tally ho! My feeling is that your higher self is trying to communicate this "okay, take a five but don't take too long!" Hehe..

Once again, I could be off track and completely wrong about everything here! I care about you and hope things work out for you, CreativeGoddess.