Post by ADMIN on Oct 4, 2005 11:06:24 GMT -5
THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 5
years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this
especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive behavior of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to,
· anti-social personality disorder traits;
· delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
· chronic mangling of the English language;
· extreme cognitive dissonance;
· inability to incorporate new information;
· pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;
· inability to accept responsibility for actions;
· exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking;
· total ignorance of geography and history;
· tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and
· a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few
years ago in a Texas bush.
So far this disease has been found incurable but oddly, it is predicted that
there will be a spontanous remission on 1/20/09 at noon. This just in, it appears this disease, mostly located in Red States, is starting to die on it's own!! Apparently due to the cleansing abilities of Hurricane's Katrina and Rita, and widespread Compassion [antidote] that is appearing!!
Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting
unusual lately.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 5
years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this
especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive behavior of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to,
· anti-social personality disorder traits;
· delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
· chronic mangling of the English language;
· extreme cognitive dissonance;
· inability to incorporate new information;
· pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;
· inability to accept responsibility for actions;
· exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking;
· total ignorance of geography and history;
· tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and
· a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few
years ago in a Texas bush.
So far this disease has been found incurable but oddly, it is predicted that
there will be a spontanous remission on 1/20/09 at noon. This just in, it appears this disease, mostly located in Red States, is starting to die on it's own!! Apparently due to the cleansing abilities of Hurricane's Katrina and Rita, and widespread Compassion [antidote] that is appearing!!
Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting
unusual lately.
