Post by ADMIN on Jun 17, 2004 11:00:55 GMT -5
The Care & Feeding of Your
Inner Child
by Bess McCarty, H.H.P.
Toolbox:
Dysfunctions: Signs of Un-met Needs
"Hurt, anger, fear, depression, relationship problems, physical illness, co-dependence, violence, abuse, and addictions are signs of unmet needs."
Like a red light on the dashboard of our car, our unhappy feelings & behavior tell us something is needed.
This doesn't mean we are bad. But our behavior is damaging to ourselves & may be others.
____________________
A. How to Identify the Need
First, as the inner parent, relax a few minutes and set a climate of love, trust, and acceptance, being totally willing to hear what's real. Learn to listen truly, with the heart.
* Visualize sitting down with your inner child, or visualize your inner child in your heart looking up at you. Ask your child, "How are you feeling now? Is there anything you want or need?" You can just listen, or write down the responses. Negative feelings always precede negative behavior. Refer to a feelings list, if needed, or practice with a counselor.
For a list of
feelings & needs, click here
* The Empty Chair Process may help get in touch with your child, or, with your parent, if you're feeling very emotional and are identifying with your child. Place two empty chairs in front of you. Sit in one, as the parent, and ask your child how it's feeling. Sit in the other, as the child and express all you feel, verbally and physically. Then compose yourself, sit in the parent chair, thank your child, and ask, "What do you
need ?"
* Write With Your Non-Dominant Hand, a letter from your child to your parent, to easily access the right side of your brain and age regress. Let the parent write a letter in response, with your dominant hand.
* Let your child write a Letter To Santa: what it would like, what it fantasizes. Or tell you, "If I could have anything I want, it would be..." The parent can then help the child identify the need behind the want. Or look over needs and see what stands out, what lights up for you.
* Dreams: take note what needs your inner child may be conveying when the censoring function of the mind is more at rest. Upon awakening, reflect on what you remember. You may want to keep a journal.
* The Waking Dream: recognize symbols that may be messages for you in waking life.
* Draw, perhaps with crayons or paint, your feelings, wishes, needs.
* Look at childhood, photos, toys, or objects that stir memories.
* Browse through magazine pictures, observing reactions that may come up.
* Movies, music, and even scents may evoke unresolved feelings & needs.
* Body Awareness: ask yourself, "How does my body feel? Where do I feel it? What does it say? What does it need?" Bodywork may assist.
* Drama: act out a scene from childhood, or act out a scene you wish for, or need to resolve.
* Follow the Feeling: "Where and when else have I felt this?
The goal each time is to identify needs. At the end of each of these exercises, you may wish to thank you inner child, let it know you love it, you will always be there, and you will help meet its needs. Fluent communication with your child self may take tirne to develop, especially if it's been years since you've checked in. Also, in case you cannot see or hear your child, it may be because you are the child, looking out! If so, then visualize the parent and speak to him or her.
Read Part B at the site;
www.bessmccarty.com/innerchild.htm
