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Post by Lunaria on Jun 24, 2004 21:40:18 GMT -5
Boomer and I are leaving the house to buy me a new coat.
I feel cold as I left the house without a coat and I want to go back inside and put one on.
Inside the house the landlord that owns the building next door is there to collect the rent from us.
I am wondering if there will be enough money left to buy my coat.
The money is made out of large metal disks with a hole in the middle.
Boomer is putting it in two piles. One for the rent, one for my coat.
There is enough money left to buy my coat.
The coat will be thick and cover my body.
End of dream.
Why are we paying a landlord that doesn't own our building? I wonder if Boomer, who is in all my dreams, types my male side. Why do I need protection for my female side? Why am I giving my energy (money) away. I understand that I am everyone in this dream. Sowelu, I am having a hard time interpreting this dream. I know it has a deeper meaning. Help please. 
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Post by Sowelu on Jun 24, 2004 22:57:31 GMT -5
Wow, Lun! I see a whole lot in this, I hope you're ready! 
I get a sense that this dream is discussing decisions you’ve been making lately or activities you’ve chosen to embark on. And the reason is because these choices are stemming from a misunderstanding within, or a conflict of energies in self that it seems you‘re unaware of.
In fact, the sense I get is that you think you’re doing a good thing or the right thing, but actually your perspective is skewed, causing you to think this way. Once the “aha” hits you can shift energies within and new ideas/choices/opportunities will surface. For now, though, there is what feels to be an almost habitual patterning in play that needs investigation.
There is a subtle confusion here that stands out immediately. You think you’re leaving the house to go buy a coat, and yet you desire to go back inside to put one on.
Boomer represents the thinking and doing self (masculine aspect), and you are the feeling self (feminine aspect), in the dream. In reality, you are both, of course, but the separate symbols helps identify the different aspects of self in conflict. Even in your sentence structure, it is apparent that with Boomer you are more matter-of-fact, non-emotional or more factual. But when you describe you in the scenario, it’s all about feeling and desire.
Though the dream seems simple enough, there is quite a bit of information layered into it, as you sensed. The actions and symbols are quite important in this dream.
Note that the house is the Self.
When you act from your thinking self (masc), you leave the Self. This leaves you cold (fem). When you realize that you’re cold/emotionless, you desire to return to the Self for warmth and protection. (Remember that you originally thought to leave the house to “buy” warmth and protection “out there”…)
But when you do return to Self (house), you do so WITH your thinking self, again, and it turns out that your Self-identity (the house), is suddenly not yours but “owned” by someone/thing else. It’s owned by something near you or even like you, but not you.
The sense I have here is that this landlord is another symbol representing the ego or a masculine authority bereft of wholeness or heart. And perhaps it is the neighbor who is used here because Boomer is not necessarily "without heart" but more running on old ways, whereas this neighbor guy can better depict "heartless" or without a connection to the feminine...
All of this is to say that when we attempt to enter the Self from an “idea” of what the Self is, we are entering the mind’s illusion of Self instead (represented by going back into the house with Boomer and realizing THIS house is not yours, really). There is no warmth or protection in that illusion. Just as there is no true warmth or protection to be taken or exchanged for in the external world.
I now get this sense of frustration you might be going through lately, of almost a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type of thing. As if you’ve made attempts to heal something or feel something in a variety of ways, and none of it seems to help. The sense I get is that this is because there’s a simple misunderstanding going on within, but it’s insidious in its influence in self.
As a result of not actually getting to the true self when you go within, there is an inevitable cost you pay. It hurts, in other words, in some fashion. You lose energy because you’re feeding something false, rather than dipping into your authenticity. You may feel this “rent payment” as increasing fatigue even though you attempt to nurture yourself by going within, or an escalating feeling of being down, low energy, frustration or negativity… something like that, perhaps.
It may well be that your actual understanding of Self, who you are, is what’s at issue here. Self identity issues typically stem from identifying self through the ego’s eyes, rather than the heart’s. This would be a cause for a landlord, meaning an authority or ownership of self that isn’t authentic.The energy we live from when we are not centered or coming from the heart or our authenticity, is limited. We feel this as stress, usually. We may not consciously understand why, but we feel squeezed in some way, and can’t find our way to the flow again, or a sense of peace.
This limited energy we’re running on is sometimes only able to be “replenished” at the human-to-human level, rather than nourishing ourselves from spirit/Creator. This often means external conflicts are needed, so we can “get” from others… believe it or not. Or even between our own inner two energy forces, by being angry a lot or arguing with ourself, feeling ill, etc.
Most of us don’t like to see this in ourselves, but it is a necessity unless and until we can find our way back to center, to our heart, where we can finally nourish ourselves in a true way with rightful life force again. The indications here are that you are dealing with limited resources because you are not in your authenticity in some regard, though likely through lack of understanding rather than deliberately.
You may not have resorted to external conflicts, it may be that you are “just making due” with what little energy you have, and kind of robbing Peter to pay Paul within, in a sense… trying to feel confident and able while also feeling a strong need for protection because you’re being victimized silently by this false self owning the show of your authenticity.Metal indicates strength and durability, yet is hard, cold, unfeeling. The energy you exchange in some arena of your life has no center, no heart. There is no Core Self in this energy exchanging going on. It seems you draw upon it because of its strength, but it leaves you cold nonetheless. And because you haven’t realized this yet, you see no other options, likely.
The ego (controller) divvies out your energy so that you get to maintain a sense of warmth and protection, though false, as well as maintain a sense of Self, though also false. You have just enough energy to keep up these illusions, but in reality, you have nothing. All this energy… for nothing. The sense I get here is “all this effort, very little reward”. (Man! Do I know that feeling!!! ((Hugs!)))
Now maybe that's a whole lot of words that don't tell you anything specific... ;D Please feel free to ask for clarification or bounce things back and forth with me if you feel the need, Lun ((((Hugs!))))
Much love and blessings,
Sowelu
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Post by Lunaria on Jun 25, 2004 0:07:30 GMT -5
Wow, Sowelu, I am studded, not able to move, motionless. You have hit on something here. I feel it, but I am not able to decribe what it is yet. It something I have been grappling with for some time, but have not been able to fix it. Yet I still do not know exactly what it is. I have no energy in the physical. I am so tired all the time. It is like I am being drained. I feel that the last three dreams I have had are somehow connected and spirit is giving me info in many ways so I will get it. But I don't yet. Do you think this could have something to do with my relationship that I have deliberately turned off? Or is it more spiritual and not about my 3D life. You are right I cannot reach my true self. I am going to think on this and maybe bounce some more thoughts to you. Thank you so much for helping me with this. Luv, Lun. |
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Post by Sowelu on Jun 25, 2004 0:30:07 GMT -5
Do you think this could have something to do with my relationship that I have deliberately turned off? Or is it more spiritual and not about my 3D life.
What comes to me is that if you have turned off this relationship but not truly let it go, then yes, this just may have something to do with it. BUT...
My sense is that the act of deliberately turning off the relationship is actually a symptom of this misunderstanding you have going on within. In other words, the decision to do that was made from a faulty foundation, and its the foundation that needs rectifying. The relationship will either repair or end naturally as you clear up the inner premise from which you (do or don't) relate with others (him?).
Does that make sense?
If I knew more about the relationship situation I could likely get to more about how it relates. My sense is that if it's a "him" that you have shut out, it might help you figure your own stuff out by describing how you see/understand/think of him, on paper, even.
The trick with getting to a truer level in self is often to find the right trigger to get us there... "there" is a place we don't even realize we secretly keep safely hidden away and hard to get to!  DOH!
So... by using all kinds of desciptive ways of saying something, we can often hit upon something that lights us up and opens the door to "aha's". I use this method when I'm stuck. I'll give you a for instance that may have nothing to do with this, but just so you can see what I mean...
Let's say my dog has peed on the floor again, and I'm trying to figure out if it's a symbolic message for me, a gift from spirit delivered through my innocent, loving pet.
"She lets loose right when I think she's fine"
"She seems to pee only when I least am able to clean it up quickly"
"She acts fine all day, and just when I think all's well, she lets loose and ruins the floor"
"The floor is ruined by this constant urination"
"The foundation of this house is getting ruined by this leeking fluid"
"You'd think she was frightened, the way she suddenly lets loose like that"
...and on and on. Do you see what I mean? Rewording the situation in as many variations as possible helps me see the potential symbolic value in the situation.
In the above it just might be, from the variations I revealed, that I have an emotional issue (she) that is causing damage in my life, slowly decaying the foundation of the Self I think (masc) I am. Further, it seems to show up most when I think(masc) I'm doing ok. And it appears that this issue is a fear of some kind, likely.
Anyway, that's just a tool I use that I thought I'd share, in case you need help sussing things out. I'm open for more sharing, just write when you're up to it.
((((Hugs!))))
Love you!
Sowelu |
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Post by Lunaria on Jun 25, 2004 0:35:44 GMT -5
Thanks Sowy,
I will use your method and see what I come up with.
I will write more on this I am sure.
It feels like I have to deal with this now. It has gone on too long.
;D
yes, it's a 'him' I have shut out.
;D
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DOH!