BUGS

[Nicole]

Any thoughts on this?

I had a rather disturbing dream last night. I was in my bedroom and saw this large bug. It was supposed to be one of those african cave spiders they always show on Fear Factor. They don't look so much like spiders but anyway this one was much larger. It was on the wall near the ceiling.

I yelled at Shaun to come kill it. He did. Another one appeared and he killed it too, then went to the bathroom. While he was in there I noticed that a hoard of other spiders were crawling up the wall to eat the two that were dead there. Then I saw them all over the floor. I was literally crawling up the drawers on the dresser SCREAMING for him to come out. He tends to take his time when I say "come here" and he was doing it this time even though I was screaming to him that I needed him - crying to him. They were everywhere and I knew we needed to get out. I was worried b/c the dogs and cat were on the floor but the spiders did not bother them at all. So Shaun grabs Erin to put her int he carseat and leaves going down the hall and they start pouring out from in under a dresser and follow him. THEN...two big "queens" came out and followed as well. They looked like big ants or something, except were more rounded and had several round parts stuck together like a cootie that we used to play with.

Then I saw a hoard run up under the other dresser and I believe there were more queens there. They were coming from out of nowhere and were taking over. He suggested bombing the house, like you'd do for fleas. But I told him no, I wanted an exterminator because I wanted the damn things dead. But then I feared the strong stuff the exterminator would use would make any survivors immune and harder to kill. UGH!

So the dream pretty much ended there.

And right before that, I dreamed we were driving down a highway and saw what appeared to be a wreck so we pulled off and asked if we could help. The guy seemed to be excavating instead and I heard him mention "here is a fetus." We were confused, but asked again if we could help. He said yes, it was an all day job, and if we got together for lunch we had the chance to win $200 (the day was without pay). There were people everywhere. Weird.

I also had a training part of a dream. I was flying, and this time I used thought to float up and down instead of my arms. I knew I could do it, but hadn't given it a try yet! LOL

Love!
Nicole

[Lunaria]

If the bug action is in your home this says the problem is where you live. It may be your thoughts, feelings,
or problems bugging you.

This could be creeping up on you, since they were crawling. Annoyances which need to be recognized and halted before going any further.

Spider is a highly creative creature, spinninf mavelous traps to catch prey.

since he went to the bathroom, it is a place to cleanse, release, let go of that which is no longer useful. Can also depict a need for privacy.

Since the spiders started in the bedroom, this is an area of rest, sex, marriage, integration, sleep, quiet space and privacy.

Hall, area of changes. Going from one state od consciousness to another. Moving through different areas of beliefs.

Anyway...This is a job for Sowey.

[Sowelu]

Hiya Nicole! (((Hugs)))

Here I go! This took a lot to write, but it feels real simple (sometimes words take so long to get a point across, you know? LOL!).

I had a rather disturbing dream last night. I was in my bedroom and saw this large bug. It was supposed to be one of those african cave spiders they always show on Fear Factor. They don't look so much like spiders but anyway this one was much larger. It was on the wall near the ceiling.

Well, the first thing that pops out here is the similarity to Fear Factor. Think of that as a literal term, not the name of a TV show (gotta love the way messages come through sometimes, you know?!) In other words, this dream speaks of a "fear factor" in your life that needs attention.

And like a TV program, this is part of a programmed tape running in you, going on currently in your life. It's created, produced and acted out as if it's real... even labeled "reality TV", but it's not. Drummed up circumstances preying on fears.

As Lun mentioned, bugs indicate something bugging you. Spiders, incidentally, often point to “traps”, “illusions” and a need to be cautious in some regard, because you’re creating something yourself, through fear, thereby using control and/or manipulation as a means of dealing with it, which actually serves to keep it alive, and even to grow.

The sense that sometimes we think we’re taking a stand, supporting ourselves or acting “righteously”, when actually we’re in protection mode, acting from fear and not in our, or anyone’s, best interests… comes to me here.

I yelled at Shaun to come kill it. He did. Another one appeared and he killed it too, then went to the bathroom.

I now have the feeling that you’re seeing a progression here, of a fear you’ve been carrying and trying to face, but are not actually releasing. The sense is that through your mind (Shaun) you manage to “kill” a thought/belief/attitude that surfaces now and then, but you haven’t gotten down to the emotional root of it, the fuel for it’s existence in your mind. So when you “change your mind” in thought, you still haven’t addressed the root cause, and the thought/belief/attitude rises again.

While he was in there I noticed that a hoard of other spiders were crawling up the wall to eat the two that were dead there.

Again here, it seems you’re seeing what actually happened at some point in your processing recently. You went to “mentally release” some fear-based thought-patterns or attitudes, and as you were doing that, a swarm of other fear-based thought-forms borne of the original fear but a second generation of sorts, popped into your mind. The newer thoughts actually grew from the preemptive killing of the old ones, rather than a clean release occurring. So this indicates there’s still work to do on whatever this is.

I get this feeling of a snowball effect. Trying to “eject” or “reject” certain attitudes or thoughts or behaviors recently has actually caused them to grow… and all of it is based in illusion. Unlike when truth allows our consciousness to expand, this feels like it causes a sense of a grip getting tighter, the opening to freedom getting narrower… like that.

The walls represent the idea that these thoughts/attitudes/beliefs are serving as obstacles on your path at the moment. The walls are actually made from the emotional energy (fear) needing to be addressed, and the thoughts/beliefs/attitudes literally walk all over your emotional body, with a mental status that has you feeling like you're "climbing the walls" trying to get out, or away from them.

Then I saw them all over the floor. I was literally crawling up the drawers on the dresser SCREAMING for him to come out. He tends to take his time when I say "come here" and he was doing it this time even though I was screaming to him that I needed him - crying to him.

This section feels very much like “obsessive thoughts driving you mad” type thing, to the point of feeling truly victimized and unable to “control your mind” about this topic. And THAT fact is just compounding the already existing underlying fear.

I almost get the sense that we're talking about addiction here, Nicole. Maybe a hidden one, but the pattern is consistent with addiction withdrawal. It doesn't have to be an addiction to a substance, it could even be addiction to a concept, a "truth" (that isn't one), or yes, a pattern of behavior.

The message I sense here is that your mind/masc aspect (rep. By Shaun) cannot do what it is not inspired to do. If it is fed fear energy, it will think, believe, take action in fear-based ways. It cannot do anything else. It literally is following orders, so to speak, that are coming from your fear energy in a panic.

His slow response is a reflection of the dread underlying your "need" to take care of something at a superficial level. It's as though a part of you knows that taking care of it at the surface level is ineffective anyway, and you always come back to the fear again and again, so why not stop this ridiculous surface pattern by getting down to the root cause and eliminating it there? Do you feel what I mean?

We get annoyed with ourselves when we refuse to acknowledge something at a deeper level after the umpteenth time of seeing it rise up in our experience. Shaun's response seems to imply this as well as what I mentioned above, about him (your mind) literally not having the deeper solution anyway. It lies in the feminine, not the masculine.

So… getting to the root of the fear energy by allowing it to express in a relaxed manner where the masculine can simply observe and listen, is essential to truly changing the mind or behavioral self. Because that is the atmosphere within which fear energy can convert to “true information leading to insights“, thereby changing the masculine/mind.

You have a very good clue here in that the very basis (floor) of your thinking is steeped in this fear. This is why it keeps snowballing when you attempt to “think it through” intelligently, or deal with it just on the surface. So… the mind is not the tool to use to attempt clearing. At least not initially. Use the mind simply to decide to direct your attention inward, and then hand over the reigns to the emotional aspects needing to give voice.


(I actually have to break this up into two posts, so see below for part 2)

[Sowelu]

Part 2

They were everywhere and I knew we needed to get out. I was worried b/c the dogs and cat were on the floor but the spiders did not bother them at all. So Shaun grabs Erin to put her int he carseat and leaves going down the hall and they start pouring out from in under a dresser and follow him. THEN...two big "queens" came out and followed as well. They looked like big ants or something, except were more rounded and had several round parts stuck together like a cootie that we used to play with.

Then I saw a hoard run up under the other dresser and I believe there were more queens there. They were coming from out of nowhere and were taking over. He suggested bombing the house, like you'd do for fleas. But I told him no, I wanted an exterminator because I wanted the damn things dead. But then I feared the strong stuff the exterminator would use would make any survivors immune and harder to kill. UGH!

So the dream pretty much ended there.

Here we see that you do realize these thoughts/belief/attitudes need to go or you need to get away from them, but you also notice that they’re not actually touching your essential nature (dogs and cat). This helps you see that they exist in your illusory world of drama, but you have a calm center that is untouched by all of this. I just got the phrase, “Believe in your Essential Nature” here. (Shaun picking up Erin seems to reflect this idea. Shaun = mind/believe; Erin = essential nature/innocence/truth/love)

Once you tune into your center/essential self, there is a path to follow and you will not get lost (hallway). Notice also, however, that what’s bugging you follows you like you have cooties (heh heh, again I love the references here!), letting you know that you do indeed need to go within and address this right to the root, as there are core feminine issues involved (queens).

I will venture a guess here that there is potentially a fear you carry OF your actual “essential nature”. As though you fear that if you go deep enough, you will find out for certain that you “are” something you dread. That you come from what you fear the most. Remember that fear is the illusion, and nothing originates from it. Fear feeds off truth through distortion. So… every fear, if you follow it back far enough, will lead you back to love, pure and unadulterated. “Trust in your Essential Nature”.

And right before that, I dreamed we were driving down a highway and saw what appeared to be a wreck so we pulled off and asked if we could help. The guy seemed to be excavating instead and I heard him mention "here is a fetus." We were confused, but asked again if we could help. He said yes, it was an all day job, and if we got together for lunch we had the chance to win $200 (the day was without pay). There were people everywhere. Weird.

This seems to be a commentary on the above stuff, but from a slightly different angle. In your current sense of safety, you feel confident to offer assistance (to yourself) in processing what appears to be “things gone awry due to lack of paying proper attention” in your life (car wreck). (Here I get a sense that this might be the mental assessment you’ve recently made regarding certain thought patterns you can’t shake, or attitudes or beliefs… the fear stuff of the dream above).

Instead, the events of trauma are due to a much needed excavation down to essential levels. In other words, though it seems things are “a wreck”, they are par for the course during this changing time as you clear out ancient fears. You’re told that it would take time, a full focus of your attention (all day), and if your mind and feelings worked together to receive nurturance from the process, you would gain a huge new sense of balance in self ($200). All the other people are the many aspects of self that will benefit from your efforts in this.

I also had a training part of a dream. I was flying, and this time I used thought to float up and down instead of my arms. I knew I could do it, but hadn't given it a try yet! LOL

Here I sense that when you clear the heavy emotional energies mentioned above, you will realize that you need less “mechanics” to fly in life. You will simply be able to manifest thought without detractors. But first… the detractors (fears) must be cleared.

Since the physical is the “results zone”, the last place things appear, you are given a gift in this piece...

You are already successful!!

So take heart and finish your processing at this level! ((((Hugs!))))

That‘s what I get, Nicole, hope it helps! Blessings!!!!

Love you!
Sowelu