Dreams of violent anger

[Edward]

Last night/this morning when I was sleeping I had a very powerful and emotional felt dream. The dream starts off with me playing a casino game BlackJack. I haven't played Blackjack or had the desire to in many years. Anyways this dream is but one part of a continuation of dreams lately where my anger and expressions of emotions have gotten greater with each dream I have with an openly outburst that I show in these dreams.


So for some strange reason I am playing BlackJack and I get distracted for a moment. Maybe I was co ming back from the restrooms or was pulled a way for a moment. But I was close enough to the dealer where they said hit or stay. I said I will stay on 17. I lose. Throughout the whole time I have had a lady friend of sorts watching me and I was explaining on how to play and what to do, but she was not playing at the time. Just watching me. After the end of the said hand, I t hen went off somewhere( don't know where too) but when I returned. My chips/money have dwindled and I found out that the dealer let my lady friend play. I was furious there was no words really spoken. It was like all my anger that I have had pent up was triggered and I began to physically assult and maul this lady. Grabbing her by the throat and just slaming her through the tables around the area. Repeatidly with all my anger I was relentless and when I was finished I walked away in disgust. Now after I pondered this in my dream and had time to refelect I was still mad at her but I caught up with her again in the dream and told her I was sorry for unleashing like I did and being so violent. She said its ok I deserved it. But she ever gave back the money she lost/took. I went on my way after that still a little miffed but ok with it I guess. Then I tried to find a Poker game going but to no avail. Nothing suited my fancy and I thought a bout the money I had left and wasn't too concerned about it. I had enough money left even after that fiasco to continue to do what I like with it.


Then I would wake up after a while from that dream. It was fresh in my mind and I was Mentally drained and even physically too, to a point. At this point i n time in the afternoon I am still mentally drained from it when I think about it. I sure had alot of anger in that dream. And my dreams in dealing with anger have been increasing in it's intensities lately. But I am getting them out, instead of trying to conciously thinking about my anger first. Its just been the heat of the moment letting it all out with out fear or consideration for anyone else. They have been something else lately. It has been a drain though I tell ya.


Phewwwww. I got that all out I think. What do you guys think?


love, peace and enlightenment,

Ed

[Sowelu]

Hi Ed! (((hugs)))

Wow... quite the dream! This is actually a wonderful depiction of exactly what happens to us when we have feelings that aren't properly revealed and understood in self. They drain us, and then we get angry about the drain on us, and it becomes a vicious cycle (I've been through many of these cycles!).

What I don't see clearly in this particular dream, is the specific root cause of the initial emotional drain. It's implied in the setting, however. The female symbolizes your emotions, which as you saw, drain you even when you're not paying attention or even participate in the game of life. In other words, something drains you without your conscious knowledge or choice, and this is angering you even more.

Because you explain how to play the game to her, it amounts to a depiction of how you're living life, lately. You are representing your conscious, masculine self in the dream, imo. The masculine is the thinking and action-taking part of self. It seems that your mind is in the lead, and the trouble with this is that your mind is literally fed by your emotions (which she represents, and which are draining you)... so your mental decisions are not likely in your best interests. (The feminine nurtures the masculine as a basic principle/law of nature)

We have the gambling setting itself, as the clue to the root issue in play. You are gambling in life in some fashion, and these risky choices you make are not based on just the exciting, loving and happy feelings you may be aware of, but also based in the hidden dark energy, the hidden emotions that are fueling those choices. In other words, you might THINK you choose risky things freely because they excite you and bring enjoyment, but this dream implies that the "real" reason you make these choices is due to something hidden inside, draining you of the ability to truly choose what's in your highest good.

If we hold a fear in us that we're not aware of at all, it still fuels our life. Every thought we have is at least in part fueled by that fear, or shadowed by it. Every joy we attempt to create for ourselves will have a detracting factor, due to that fear.

So, as example, if we have this great idea of living in a certain town and getting a certain job and dating a certain person... each of these "dreams" is in part appealing to us because it "fits our fear" somehow. That town, that job and that person, specifically, will "meet our perfect mix of hope, fear and love". Now we WANT only the love based parts of our dreams, but until we face and clear the fear, it will take away from our dreams.

So then when we pursue those appealing interests without having acknowledged and cleared the underlying, hidden fear inside, things go awry. And we don't understand why because we thought we were creating happy things. But what we missed was the fact that our very dreams have a shadow to them, because of the hidden fear.

This, it feels to me, is what's happening to you. The root cause for your risky choices in life are not based on positive energies, it seems, though you might think they are. The negative source needs to be revealed and healed, as they say, or it will continue to drain you. And this takes away from your health and possibility for a more joy filled life. The resulting anger you feel about it all is a healthy signal that something is wrong within. It's a healthy response to an imbalanced situation in self.

I sure hope this helps some, Ed. This is just my view, of course, the only thing another can ever really offer. It may not work for you. The true meaning of your dreams and life experiences is completely up to you to decide. If this interp doesn't work for you, by all means toss it! Blessings to you in discovering the life meaning in your dream messages!

Namaste,
Sowelu

[Edward]

What pissed me off in this dream that the dealer let this lady friend of mine play with my money/(my power) with out my permission. I couldn't believe she took advantage of me and felt that she could play with my money/(my power). I thought I had a mutual trust. With that said, I unleashed my fullest rage onto this person that took my power away. The one that hurt me. This was all taken literally by me in the dream and I let my emotions fly off the cuff. I let the person know that It will not be tolerated and I expressed it in anger to the fullest extent. I did not appriciate being hurt and taken advantage of in such fashion and I let it be known. Now I failed to mention in this dream that no one around tried to stop me. My unrelenting rage filled burst continued until I was done. The lady was visibly shaken a littlie bewildered and over comed by my thrashing. Like I said, I left and somewhere else in the dream we met but things were more diplomatic at that next meetting and we went our seperate ways.


love, peace and enlightenment,

Ed

[Sowelu]

I understand, Ed. The dealer represents a "governing authority in self", one that you're currently not aware of as your own belief/idea, but that DOES this giving away of your power, even though you consciously THINK you would never do that.

When the thinking mind you think you live by exits the picture, this overriding governing authority in self, a BELIEF usually, gives away power simply by ruling your energies. Does that make sense? It sabotages you by its mere presence in hiding, within you.

Overall, the sense I have is that you're fighting a phantom. Another part of yourself that you haven't acknowledged IS you. So far in life, it has manifested for you in other people, institutions, etc., when in reality that's just the OUTWARD DISPLAY of this part of you that you haven't revealed and healed. He's the counterpart to the female in the dream, they work together... the feeling self holds onto some fear which gives birth to a belief. the belief determines how your energy will leave you and enter the game of life. IT determines how your interactions will work, what the dynamic will be, how you'll be responded to, etc.

There is a whole lot behind this concept that I don't know if you're informed about, so it's difficult to express this simply. The idea is basically that everything in our lives is determined by our energetic make-up. Every interaction, every issue, etc... our lives play out according to how much of the programming we've cleared. When we haven't cleared something, things go awry and we have negative experiences. When we have cleared it all, we can finally live free of programmed patterns generating our experiences.

Again, hope this helps. My view, again, and please feel free to toss it. (((hugs)))

~Sowelu