Post by Sowelu on Jun 25, 2011 1:28:48 GMT -5
 | Beyond the Dogma of Formlessness By Scott Kiloby |
There is a conversation happening today in spiritual circles about whether there is some basis to life, such as ISness, suchness, being, I AM, space, non-conceptuality, silence, stillness, presence, awareness, emptiness, consciousness or something else. This is an age old conversation actually.
Even though the words above have different meanings in different contexts, let’s assume, for purposes of this inquiry, that they are pointing to an empty awareness directly experienced as that which is not name or form (because to cognize something, that which sees it has to be, in some sense, apart from what is seen). Let’s just put all the words above in one basket and call what they are pointing to as the “the basis of life.” Lately, more refined teachings downplay or de-essentialize this basis with words such as relaxation, rest, knowing, and other more subtle words. But the experience, roughly, is the sense of touching upon something that is, itself, not a thought or a form, but that cognizes, registers, allows, or appears as thought, form, and all other appearances.
It’s tricky to even lump those words together. It’s an act of reductionism. Why? . . . because my Madhyamaka Buddhist friends would instantly take offense, albeit lightly, to my inclusion of words like emptiness in the list above. In that teaching, emptiness is considered empty. It is not a substratum, sub-reality, formless ‘realm’ or anything of the like. But that’s another story . . .
Most of the nondual teachings, past to present, have been based, in part, around this notion that, through direct experience, one comes to touch upon that which is prior to name, form, and appearance. To call it a touching is inaccurate. It’s more like realizing that, whatever that basis is, that is what I am in the deepest sense. This is why teachings often say that consciousness is your true identity or awareness is what you really are. They are speaking to a sort of shift in identity from the little “me” as Mary (with her story of past, present, and future) to something beyond or prior or bigger than that, something that is not conceptual and is not of the realm of name, form, and appearance.
One has to directly taste this formlessness to truly appreciate it. A million words about it just don’t cut it.
This is how such teachings take you to the direct experience.
Take a moment and relax all your viewpoints. Just notice the coming and going of thought, emotion, and sensation. Do nothing with those arisings.
Just rest . . . .
In the space of not-knowing
Relax into what is. Rest without concepts.
Rest there until you see that you are not your name, form, or any other appearance. These things arise and fall but they are not what you are. In that restful, meditative knowing, the warmth of formlessness, the embrace of undivided presence is seen to be your true body. The world of things looks, from that angle, like an enormous fiction. This is experienced as beyond the beyond, and yet it is presence itself, so it’s right here.
And there’s another school of experience that says, basically, that’s a load of bullshit. That school says that this formlessness is another belief system creeping in. It’s just another hangout for the ego, but this hangout is particularly insidious because one can hang out there and call it truth. Or so the argument goes . . . .
For this conversation, I have to refer to my own experience so that this doesn’t become too theoretical, like a comparative dialogue of spiritual paths.
Like so many others, there came a point at which I touched something that felt “beyond,” like the basis of all of life. It was the classic Oneness experience, where the story of Scott was gone and separation was seen through. It was non-conceptual in every sense. The mind deeply quieted and the heart opened. But all of these are, of course, after-the-fact descriptions. During the experience my jaw dropped, so to speak, to the floor in awe and all I could really do was laugh—a lot. No Scott. No time. No death. No concept. No thing. This experience felt so true, real, and freeing that no words came up to really capture it (until later when I tried to describe it). It felt, in some way, beyond words.
I owe it to the teachings and teachers that I followed in those days. They pointed me to this experience of touching what felt like the basis of life itself.
And this was nice for quite a while.
This was great . . . until mind got involved again.
As humans, we love describing stuff. It’s perfectly harmless, this love of describing experience. But so easily the descriptions are taken to be referring to real, true, fixed, separate things. And that is what I did with being or Oneness or whatever buzz word one assigns to what I’m talking about here. I see it happening all the time with others. Thought can only conceive of things, so thought tends to treat Oneness, awareness, consciousness (or any of the other formless buzz words) as a thing. It makes being into a thing. It objectifies it. This is so subtle that there is often not even a recognition that it is happening.
How do we know this objectification has happened? Here are a few signs:
1) When the formless buzz word is used as a way to drown out, deny, or wash out all other words. It goes something like this: “Consciousness is all there is.” Fair enough, but my dog is a dog to my ordinary everyday awareness. And I want my dog to stay as my dog. I like my partner as my partner, thank you very much. If consciousness is all there is, then why do I not eat soap for breakfast and use an orange to wash my hands? Instead, I eat an orange for breakfast and use soap to wash my hands. This is because soap is soap and an orange is orange, conventionally speaking (meaning “in form”). The phrase “all is consciousness” is helpful to me in a nondual investigation only. It is a teaching tool or insight along the way. It really isn’t a statement of absolute truth. When it becomes a statement of final truth, there is usually a massive act of reductionism going on by the mind (which of course is said not to exist quite often, as part of the reductionism). But ask yourself, “What is absolute about excluding an aspect of experience?” Is an orange or a bar of soap outside of consciousness? Are thoughts or things outside of Oneness? Did they somehow escape the system?
2) When all things are reduced to “arisings” or “appearances” as a final statement of truth. Is a young child playing with a toy in a sandbox on a beautiful summer day merely an arising? An appearance? Is your wife looking lovingly into your eyes just a form? No, these are particular, unique experiences, colored by story, thought, emotion, and sensation. Life is alive and telling all sorts of unique stories. Reducing everything to an appearance is a good teaching tool, but lousy as a final truth.
This is what can happen when “that which is beyond form” or “being” or some other buzz word that points to the “basis” becomes like a religion. It drowns out uniqueness, experience. It washes over these things, or reduces them to thoughts or descriptions of things that are subordinate to the main thing called “being” or whatever other basis word is being used. And when that starts happening, nondual realization gets really dry and boring, even fundamentalist or essentialistic at its extreme. Not everyone holds formlessness this way. Some hold it very lightly, not as a belief, but as a way of openness to every experience. They are energetically free of holding these buzz words as dogmatic truths.
Take a word like space or even awareness. Innocent enough! But what are we really talking about? I mean . . . if this ongoing experience is a recognition of something like the space in which everything is happening, then why fixate on the space, except as a teaching tool? Why objectify it? Space or being is a rather funny target of conversation unless it’s in the context of spiritual teaching or pointing.
What is this basis without the things, parts, forms, and appearances that it is a basis for? What is the changeless ground without all the changing things that appear to the ground? What is space without that which happens in space? What is awareness without its content? Non-conceptual awareness without concepts? Can any of these exist without the other?
Once there is a recognition of formlessness, one can start to ask:
Where is this located?
Is it big or small?
Thick or thin?
Up or down?
Inside or out?
At this point, formlessness--as a thing the mind can know--falls apart. Its usefulness as a pointer runs its course. It cannot be known so it can't be absolutized in any way. It cannot be placed at the top of all things because it is not a thing. Only things can be ranked.
At that point, if there is any sense of inherent self hunkering down in a spiritual position around the topic of formlessness, clarity, being, intelligence, Oneness (or some other buzz word), it gets deeply threatened when it can no longer hide in that mental certainty.
This brings us back down to the ground in every way, into humility's soft nest.
For me, nonduality is not about landing on some final truth. It's about being free of them (including this one), knowing that every landing point is usually some attempt to hold on for dear life and avoid the death of the one who knows.
When one no longer has a single landing point, all landing points are online and available more and more.
The play is on . . .
This levels the playing field and opens our eyes back up to life as it's appearing in a brilliant play of form. It takes us out of our fascination, or even our addiction, to nondual absolutes, and places us back in our lives, where all the real transformation can begin.
Life is much more than a teaching or a pointer.
Your child is not a pointer.
That cup of tea you are drinking is not just an arising.
Your grandmother is not just beingness. She is your grandmother.
Your wife is not only an appearance. She might slap you if you think so.
And a card game with friends, where everyone is laughing and joking and having a good time, is not just presence. It’s something really cool and fun and interesting on its own. It cannot be reduced to presence or any of the other buzz words, without losing its flavor somewhat. The world is made of stories.
Notice what happens when you have an intimate conversation with a friend. One person speaks and weaves a story. You listen. The concepts paint a picture in your mind. You shake your head in agreement or laugh with your friend as she hits a funny part in the story. Then you share and she listens. That’s something really magical in itself, something that cannot be explained away by saying “only awareness is speaking and listening.” That kind of talk can dumb down or even tune out the possibilities of interpersonal relationship.
We talk of formlessness being such a mystery. And it is. If you have never touched that non-conceptual awe, I highly recommend it. And most modern nondual teachings are pointing to just that, so stick with them.
But don’t give up on the flipside. There is just as much mystery in form. Go outside. Open your ears and eyes. Open your heart. Lots of really fascinating stories are being told. So open your mind. A magnificent dance of diversity is happening at every turn. Don’t miss the dance! How can you when it is meeting awareness intimately and inseparably in each moment.
Just look . . . without shutting out the descriptions, stories, forms, appearances, and conversations about what is seen. Know . . . without shutting out the story of what is known.
Bring freedom into every nook and cranny of your life, which just means it’s already here. Notice that it’s already here, in and as every experience.
What is the purpose of discovering the basis of life, if the things in life—the people, relationships, children, cities, experiences, vacations, jobs (appearances)—are ultimately relegated to second class status? It seems to me that when this happens, we are reifying the basis. We are making it into something. We are then saying that this something (even if we try to downplay it with more subtle words) is either 1) the only thing that really matters or 2) deeply more important than all the other things in life. But what is the value of knowing or experiencing this basis without the things that it is the basis for? It seems to me that we make a huge division in experience when we do this.
We like to stand in our privilege places. We like to privilege materialism over spirituality.
Or separation over nonduality
Or nonduality over duality
Or awareness over appearances
At some point, we see through the privileging game itself.
We lose our ability to take our positions in the name of formlessness or form. Both are so equally here! We lose our ability to make Oneness or formlessness a dogma. That self that is hiding beyond those viewpoints is seen as empty.
So what is the point of nondual realization? It's too easy to say "There is no point." Of course there is a point. Look around at the magnificent mystery before your eyes. The point is not to hide out as the cognizer. It may seem so at first. That's fine. Let that be the point at first.
The real point from my experience (which is all I have and all any of us has) is to see through separation entirely, in every direction and every place it seems to be. The suffering, seeking, and conflict only appear when separation is taken as real.
. . . and to see that there are no fixed, separate, objective, inherent things here (selves or any other things).
And then to play uncompromisingly and ruthlessly in the world as if there are things here . . . creating, rearranging, honoring, and re-inventing these things, knowing that they are empty of independent nature. It’s their emptiness that makes them flash, shine, move, and change so perfectly and brilliantly, in the perfection of impermanence.
Look at the chain of experience. There is that which is aware. And there are also thoughts, emotions, and sensations arising, and those thoughts, emotions, and sensations point to objects. Not bland, lifeless, unnamed objects. These objects have stories, identities. These stories make the world go round. To privilege any point in that chain ignores the inseparability of all the points.
The Kingdom of Heaven is not something you are cognizing from a safe place, somehow apart from it. You are dangerously and wholeheartedly in it, as it, and of it--all of it, every part. The point is to stop pretending otherwise.
And to not make a religion out of this.
Found here
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Copyright © 2011 Scott Kiloby
kiloby.com/
Copyright © 2011 Scott Kiloby
kiloby.com/
