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Post by ADMIN on Oct 11, 2006 9:09:59 GMT -5
Guys, I have been noticing lately that many are in a idle, in a state of just being. Not only on the web but also people around me who just feel like they just want to ride the wave. I also have noticed that with all the energies coming in many are trying to adjust and that takes us into a low key position. Others are being stirred into facing their inner fears, disappointments, triggers and all that comes along with the change of frequency. We are facing those energies that keep us from moving forward, emotions that may even not be to our liking. But, with all this going on I also around my circle much bitterness, discontent, lack of joy, dissatisfaction, etc... Monday night I couldn't sleep, i tossed and turned in my bed all night long. I did however wake up feeling vigorous and so full of energy, happy and felt like I had been injected with happy serum. I feel out of place with this as I feel I can't even relate to others anymore. I
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Post by Nicole on Oct 11, 2006 12:08:06 GMT -5
I know what you mean MirRA. I have not felt like talking for so long. I have lots going on inside but can't be bothered to begin to explain it all so normally don't unless I need guidance and even then I'm guided to the right people, not people in general. But, I am feeling very upbeat and excited and pulled a fairy card last night for a "where I am" status and it said Creativity. I immediately knew that this was writing, and I'm ready to begin writing again. It may start slow, and it may not be direct communication with others as in a conversation, but my desire is to be of service and so I guess that's inline with my desire. Well, for someone who isn't into talking much lately I am talking a lot today! LOL
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Post by ADMIN on Oct 11, 2006 12:19:04 GMT -5
Nicole, I am also laughing alot, especially today. I have cried from laughing...Happy, Happy, Happy. Thou is is tough to keep balance, expecially emotions of joy, I hope I feel like this on the 17th!
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Post by dee on Oct 11, 2006 13:11:58 GMT -5
I too am feeling less need to talk lately. I have my days of course when I can't shut the hell up *grin*, but for the most part, I've been pretty quiet lately. Then yesterday I had a huge emotional roller coaster day. I got my hair all cut off today to right the "wrongs" from my last haircut last week. And talk about identity crisis. I've been in huge 3D mode for the last 48 hours. It is unreal. As for the "what to talk about" thing... I find unless someone else starts the conversation lately, I have nothing to talk about at all. Millions of thoughts and ideas, but just no way to verbalize them. Lets hope it passes eh? lol
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Post by LilliHart on Oct 11, 2006 22:29:42 GMT -5
I have noticed much of the same thing...and am also into just being inside myself mode. But I have also noticed something else going on around the 1017 gateway. I've noticed a lot of fear and concern.
Many people are worried about 'feeling right' for that day. I have many friends that are all talking about 'going inside', going to the country, spending time alone, working on dediding how to think and feel on that day, and doing it all 'right'.
I have a different take on it all...of course!
This beam of energy is being sent here or rather we are passing through it and it will give us all a chance to experiment...sample what it will be like when linear time collapses and we are in a time of instant manifestation...all the time...not just for one day.
It will give us a chance to play with and experience LIVING in it, not sleeping through it or running to spend the day in silence hugging a tree. Not that there is anything wrong with any of that...but these are opportunities to jump the chasm of multi-dimensional being-ness. This is an opportunity to walk our talk and hold the center, in the NOW, that balance point in the midst of life...here on earth...with all the stimuli stimulating us.
With Iran, the elecitons, sun spots, solar flares, temper flares, irritable 3D moments and a gazillion thoughts baffling and battering we have the opportunity to live in life and CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO THINK AND FEEL the way we want to for 17 hours and see what the energies will do to us and for us.
This gateway is a way to find out how to live in the eternal NOW with the ability to have ourselves and our thoughts and feelings enhanced into cosmic consciousness and see ourselves mirrored in this energy.
I am already feeling the energies coming in and feeling and experiencing the challenges of things that go bump in the night, things that shake me and wake me and make me scared and angry and irritble and having my small voice within and my higherself reminding me moment by moment to CHOOSE how I want to respond to these stimuli.
And in every moment I get to choose how I want to feel and what thoughts I want to think and then I get to BE IT.
Can you hold the center? Can you stay in neutral? Can you stay the storm? That's what my guides are asking me at every moment...and I am doing pretty darned good at holding my intention where I want it.
If you want to feel happy, joyful, peaceful, calm and energized next Tues, start feeling and being it today and intend it...and so it is!
Lili
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Post by Nemue on Oct 12, 2006 5:18:27 GMT -5
I just feel like I have lost the will to live. For someone who usually so self motivated and one of the worlds greatest optimists I feel over the last few weeks I have been conned.
To be honest I want out of this life. I have had enough.
My feelings are jsut the opposite of most you. Many people I have spoken with down here are expressing and feeling the same as I.
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Post by dee on Oct 12, 2006 6:43:06 GMT -5
((((Nemue)))) Hang in there girl, you're not alone. Though I agree with Liliahnah as far as my receptivity to all energy dates, I too am having a hard time with life right now. I told my husband the other night that its like "I see the truth in everything now" and its really "disheartening" because I can feel and sense peoples motivations, and the world feels like a gigantic con. Just remember, that everything dark and lowly and hidden is being brought to the surface right now as we integrate more of this Light onto the planet. So our shadows are literally coming into light and we have no choice but to acknowledge the crap in the world. It sucks, especially for those of us who are extremely empathic. But this too will pass. *HUGS* Let yourself feel as you feel. Its the only thing keeping me going right now; my acceptance of my own state of being on a minute to minute basis.
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Post by ADMIN on Oct 12, 2006 9:36:56 GMT -5
Dee! What else can I add to this?
Wow! You hit it on the head. Notice how we are feeling calm and being just , trying to adapt to the light that is emanating from our inner source. Seems like some force tries to rain on our parade and keep us in the 3D emotions of anger and fear. As these tests come into circle I am noticing that I have the valor to face these souls and speak up to them with clarity and still hold my joy. It feels like slapping someone in the face but without the hand. LOL! Reminding people of how well they have been treated with respect and why we also tend to so quickly complaint and lament our situations, why we sulk at anything that crosses our path...I now sympathize with these who hopefully learn to come out of that controlling emotions that make them think they are not worthy. I feel liberated at this point thou I know I have a long way to go, but the feeling is good. And I just am getting the hang of This. I'm trying my hardest to stay in joy...let's see how long it lasts. One day we will all master our emotions instead of the emotions managing us.
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Post by Sowelu on Oct 12, 2006 11:18:16 GMT -5
((((((((Hugs!))))))) Kate! In the last week I have been repeatedly reminded of my childhood, the worst feeling parts. Up until the age of 5 when school started and I had to learn to perform like everyone else, I cried my days away. The first 4 years of my life were constant heart-break. That's how I've felt lately. As a child I felt lied to by everyone around me, especially my parents, but also everyone else I encountered. People said what they didn't mean, wouldn't say what they meant, labeled certain behaviors "love" and others "necessary"... and to the little me, it was all a bunch of lies. I knew what love was, and nothing I encountered here was it... at least not in a true form. And what passed for love felt really, really bad to me. So... cut to this past week, and all those feelings became prominent in my energies again, only it was Spirit that I felt had lied to me. The heart-break feeling went so, so deep there are no words. I too lost the will to live and felt quite certainly that I had nothing left to give. There was no point, no use, and no value in anything I could muster to do or share. And then I cried for so long, so deeply, and allowed myself to feel so utterly heartbroken, and the storm is starting to pass. It's still slow going, I ache everywhere and feel a total body shock-recovery going on, but I'm not sorry I let go and revealed the truth of how I felt. The sense I had was that it was important for me to dare express... even if it killed me. Because it was true, it was deep and real to me, and there is nothing happening like the lovely messages we all keep getting. It's the stark opposite and someone has to dare say that the emperor isn't wearing any clothes, you know? I hear you, Kate, and I can relate. I have nothing else to offer but to say you're not alone, and I love you. ((((Hugs!)))) Much love, Sowelu
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Post by A.H. on Oct 12, 2006 13:08:55 GMT -5
Nemue/Kate, (((hugs))) Well I must admit I can so relate to how you and others are feeling. I had been feeling suicidal for some time. I had decided my Soul hated me.
Loosing our will to live, perhaps it opens us up in a way that is needed. Hang in there sweet Kate. Be in the now. Be open to your creative energies... I am so alone even though I am not...
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Post by ADMIN on Oct 12, 2006 13:32:52 GMT -5
Kate, I agree with all the above. Many of us want to go home, we are tired of the contious battles. Also, maybe we are given that challenge to confront that very feeling. I also know that feeling, understand you are in this process, that we are all here because we are participants of the plan of change. Maybe we are all feeling like this because we are tired and it feels like all this is taking for ever? Be happy, soon we will be home. Then we can take a rest.
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Post by LilliHart on Oct 12, 2006 18:10:02 GMT -5
HEY EVERYONE!!!
There is no betrayal! There is only the illusion that we have all created as individuals and as a collective consciousness...or should I say out of collective unconsciousness...
This is all a play and we are the players and home is where we stand, in the eternal, everlasting NOW!!!
I too have been remembering, reminiscing, feeling regret and sadness and went through the suicidal thing a few months ago. I was then given the choice to stay or go...I chose to stay...you wanna know why? Out of love for my animals!!! LOL
OUT OF LOVE! I CHOSE TO STAY OUT OF LOVE.
Inside me and you deep down we know what it is to love...from the center of our beings. And so we are playing out the illusion pollution game...denying love so that we can define love.
There is nothing outside and no one is conning us, betraying us...It's part of our own creation to train us to recognize what is really real for us...to aim us toward our goal, to stay on task, to stay in the NOW and focus our thoughts on what we want, what we desire, how we want to live, what we want to see for ourselves and our earth...HOME.
WE are practicing creation as creator gods and goddesses...we are learning who we REALLY are...not who we thought we were. People, friends we are all on the right track.
It's good to let it all out and let it all congeal for as we look at it, roll it over, grieve about it, we can understand in each and everyone of ourselves why we created whatever it is that hurts so...and say THANK YOU and understand with gratitude that those are the very things that are helping us to define our universes. We are coming of age..finally after waiting all this time and wondering what the heck we are here for.
We are here for this! To create the new world from the inside out...our inside out. And the only thing in the new world that exists is our own individual perception of it and so we create from there.
I have been challenged over and over these past days and weeks with all sorts of stuff that has pulled me and pissed me off and shaken me up and scared me and done any number of other stimuli to get me to fall into the pit...and I have fallen in almost every instance and then ...now, I ask for help, a reminder ...How do I get out of this? What is it I am forgetting that I need to remember to stay in command of my SELF of my center?
And then the answer comes almost instantly...The interminable NOW...Stay in the present, that's all there is. You created it so go to it and BE HERE NOW.
And then I begin to be grateful and instantly I am in the NOW, back in the center, my center and I am OK again. We are learning to command ourselves...thus the tests...and the past is a HUGE test of where we have come from. Regret and grief? Sorrow, sadness, anger, loss...but look at where you are NOW...we have a new world blossoming around us and through us and we have brought it into being.
Don't watch the news, or tv. don't read the papers. don't even talk to anyone if you have to have the space for yourself to get centered. Just know that whatever is in your line of sight is something you invited, you created and you needed/wanted to learn another lesson. And then you can change it.
We are all on track and next week's energies are not going to be here next week. They are here now. There is nothing but NOW. It's your chance, all of our chances to practice instant manifestation in our lives. To create with pure intention. Us the sadness, the past, the disillusionment as a springboard.
Listen to the words you are speaking. Listen to the thoughts you are thinking. If you think you are having a hard time with life, you will have a hard time with life. You guys KNOW this, and so do I but we all need to be reminded, to remember.
If I tell myself I have bad knees then guess what? I hurt. If I tell myself I used to have bad knees but today I am getting better and better I hurt less and I feel better inside.
We have had so much stuff lately to process and pay attention to that we have been forgetting the simple little things. And it is simple and that's why we forget them.
And one more thing while I'm on a roll here preaching!!! <grin>
Nothing, NOTHING manages us that we don't empower and give ourselves over to. We have the choice and the power to make the changes...so spiritual warriors...peaceful initiates...remember...get thee to the NOW. However you can and you will feel better and be able to create the next step on the path.
OK, I'm shutting up now and feeding my cats and the dog. Lili
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Post by Sowelu on Oct 13, 2006 0:05:49 GMT -5
Yeah. Not very helpful right now, Lil, no offense. There is a time and place for everything. I'm glad for you that your time and place for these feelings is over for you. It's nice that you want to shine a light on a way out, but I haven't discovered why I came here or what's inside this place for me, yet. But it is nice to know there is an out, at least for you and maybe some others, I guess.
In just the same way as what you're talking about above is WHAT IS for you in the NOW.... the feelings mentioned in my post are WHAT IS for me in the NOW. That's the whole point to their poignancy, they are HERE/NOW.
And because of that, for me... they get honored, accepted, acknowledged and understood in love just as anything ever does, from this unique perspective, the one encountering the experience. That's why I'm here. That's why I experience what I do. I'm not here to turn away from what I feel, look the other way, or decide with my mind what those feelings are and dismiss them.
It isn't easy and sometimes I hate it, sure, but nothing that enters my world did so by mistake or accident or by someone else's agenda. I know this. So if it's in my NOW, there's valid cause and I will ferret it out and shed light on a darkness most avoid or reject.
For some their pursuit in this life is bliss, for others perhaps thrill-seeking, to right perceived wrongs, to live a good life, reclaim god status or manifestation abilities... still others it's simply about remembering their Divinity... well I never forgot mine and don't lack any of the rest. I'm here to recover the child left here many eons ago, in the NOW. I've only just got to this layer, and you want me to focus elsewhere? No thanks. Life places before me exactly what needs addressing, at the time it's presented. Choosing to focus elsewhere makes no sense to me right now, Lil.
I can't say it any clearer, and I'm saying it for me, frankly. To support myself in being who and how I am. All my life I've felt what others refuse to, and they want me to look elsewhere, feel something different, use my mind to change my feelings, decide to choose something other than what's real for me, turn away and become like them. I'm a downer or "too negative" or "too much" or I make them uncomfortable, so they want me to change to something more pleasing to them or more in line with what they believe. And even for myself, I've wanted to be different, to make my life easier, or not always see and feel so much of what's dark and negative here.
But... that's not me and not why I'm here. There are no mysteries in this universe for me, except why no one else will clear up the depth of darkness that lives here. And what I'm discovering is that it's because it's mine to clear up. I'm willing to feel the deepest, so I need to reclaim the deepest layers. So I'm here doing that. It's not about looking over there at those pretty shiny lights or ideas or aliens or angels I can have or be or manipulate or shape-shift into or telepathically talk to... if only I shift the way I THINK.
It's not about what I THINK at all. It's about what IS, which is not a mental thing, folks, but a FEELING thing, and you don't change feelings with your mind. I'm not interested in further fantasies of a mind imagining what life could be like. IT IS WHAT IT IS. FACE IT.
There is a child lost and devastated here. A cosmic, magical child. A child who uses his very powerful magic to cause distraction, destruction and devastation. Why? To call attention to his deep, deep wrenching pain even as he does everything in his power to avoid it. This is a child who is not grateful for his life, but hates it. Because of the great price paid to have it. A child who hates living under a veil, hates what little can be accomplished in such a state, and hates every meager example of that putrid life reflected by all those around him. One who does not feel "gifted" with life, but rather "cursed" by the life given. Most who dare even get a glimpse of this deeply lost child stare blankly for a bit and say, "Nope, not my kid" and move on. No one will claim him.
What caused his status? His birth. His cosmic birth ripped open the body of his mother, sending him forth into the world without her. He lost his mother and gained forgetfulness by being born, and he's a mess without her but can't really even remember her. He has no anchor to truth, so he wanders Creation endlessly searching for his true origins. He keeps looking for something to sustain him, but everything here is temporary, finite, flimsy and ill-supporting. He knows there's something more, but he can't find it, and he has looked absolutely everywhere by now. He's tried absolutely everything... except facing his darkest emotions, the one's that reveal self-hate, hate for God, hate for life, hate for all of it. Borne of an even deeper fear... that he really is what he fears the most. And isn't wanted or loved by anyone.
He hates that he was born, that his life extinguished his unity with his Mother, even though he can't identify what it is he actually lost by gaining his existence. In that moment of finding himself alive and alone, he chose past and future to live within, because the pain of NOW was too great. Though she has no face and only causes an ache deep within, she's the one thing he wants above all else, and the one thing it seems he can't have. And it eats away at him in every moment. He tries to find her everywhere here and is always disappointed.
No one here will claim to live and love at the level necessary to be this child's mother. No one loves enough to have been able to give birth to the likes of him. Everyone falls short, and his belief that he must be evil incarnate is once again reinforced. It's what's said of him too, by just about everyone here. He must be unlovable. He must be loathsome beyond comprehension. No one will claim the conception and birth of his existence here or what it represents.
So he acts out in rage, manipulates to try to serve his deep-seated need, uses his magic to seduce, coerce and bend others to his will, but it never, ever makes the pain go away. He hates himself and his mother, as much as he loves both too. He needs to feel the kind of love only his mother has for him, and he has never found her here. Through her love he will discover his own, and that he is love, and then he can finally return to LIFE.
But he has never found her, through all his searching. Until now. Finally someone able and willing to understand his plight, maybe even better than he does.
First, I was that child. Just the other day, having lost the will to continue. The past and future is nowhere to live, and the NOW was too hard to face. How dare I admit to not feeling any gratitude for life? How dare I admit that this "gift" falls far too short of my heart's desire to even want to live it anymore? How dare I fly in the face of my mother's great sacrifice, assessing it as "worthless", when she gave me everything she had in birthing me? I wanted to die instead. But then... something happened.
By truly entering the NOW... In feeling/embodying the depth of the lost child's pain that IS, I discovered the capacity within me to be that child's mother. This can only be found in the NOW. It's the eternal moment where All That Is exists.
So by truly entering the NOW - which is experienced as in felt, not generated or thought up with a human mind but rather a constant existent in Highest Mind accessible to us through our Being - I became someone who firstly understands how such deep negative feelings can exist. And then someone who loves their existence and anyone who embodies those feelings. And I can provide meaning for that lost child's hell by providing the love-paved path back home, to the heart. If taken, all he's experienced expands Creation and the LOVE THAT IS more than he could ever imagine. The prodigal son returning is a boon to All. Celebrations will last for eternity.
And all it takes is someone here who is willing to claim him as a child borne of her own energies, who understands him to his depths and can love him fully without condition. Someone who won't turn away from him and all he represents as if he is "other" or "evil" or "too much", "too painful", "too horrid". Someone here. At this level of existence. Not as a concept in memory, not just as "Father/Mother God in Heaven", but as a living, breathing experience of Truth in Form.
With that, the separation ends. For real. He can be here and have his true nurturance, borne of his eternal mother and claimed as such. He can leave the realm of Time Past and Future, the realm of the mind-in-separation - and enter the realm of All Time Is NOW, the realm of the Heart, and thrive. Fully supported, fully loved, fully funded. No more need to be clever just to maintain until a better plan is devised. No more desperate need driving desperate action.
Does it sound too over-the-top melodramatic? Well, this is The Greatest Story Ever Told, you know. Encompassing every single archetype in every other story ever told. So it stands to reason that it would be... well... fairly dramatic, to say the least.
Sorry, Lil, I sure hope you don't take offense at this or feel a need to defend. You have my deepest gratitude. You provided an opportunity for me to express this, and I needed to. Not really to you, but to the part of me that wants this over with already, and by way of explanation for "why I am the way I am". Self support.
When I started this post, I didn't know what I would say. I just felt... and allowed that feeling to have its way. It took me on a journey that, if you've read this far, you got to go on with me.
By staying with and following inward the deep sorrows, fears and rages I have felt in this life, and letting them tell me who and what they are (rather than the other way around), I have discovered and reclaimed many a lost fragment of life that needed honoring, acknowledgment and unification or a return to the Heart of Hearts - the Heart of Creation itself - as a wanted and loved child. And each time, I am more for it. I suppose you could say it's my path for remembering the truth of who I am.
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Post by dee on Oct 13, 2006 7:45:51 GMT -5
Aw guys I'm in tears here. Such honesty. Its nice to see it. This place has been so quiet, but I love EC, so I come back and hope someone has posted something, and often times leave feeling lonely. But this thread has woken us up eh? Good job MirRa! Lil and Sowelu if I may interject for a moment into your budding conversation, I'd like to say that from where I am sitting I see two people who are experiencing different spectrums of the colors of life right now, nothing more, and nothing less. Just different. We've all had our up swing energy periods, where we've been on top, and felt like "I'm here!!!" and those times rock. But the pendulum will always swing away, nothing will ever stay positive forever while we live here in the duality of Earth. We chose that. We continue to choose that by remaining. It is our pleasure and our honor to be here in this way on behalf of the Oneness of the Universe. So right now many of us are experiencing the fall of the pendulum, and we're feeling an increase of fear and anger and hurt, and its beautifully perfect in the great scheme of things because all is as it should be. But here, inthe skin, and the emotions, it can suck. And for those who are experiencing the joy and bliss of a time of balance and peace, that too is as it should be. You are exactly where you want your Self to be right now. All is exactly as you have manifested it to be right now. Breath in and out. You are loved. And you know what? Failing any affirmations (cuz we know they work great when we're up but tend to condescend when we're down) lets just say that we all ROCK. We choose to experience life consciously, and all of us have put sooooo much of ourselves into ascension, into self discovery, into integration of the light and dark within ourselves. We are not sleeping gaians... we are not ignorant to the plight of the planet... we are consciously choosing to KNOW and GROW. For that - I love and salute us all. This ascension sh*t isn't supposed to tickle, you know? It isn't about making things comfier and easier. It is about releasing all of the crap we have created in the last few million years, and starting fresh. Thats gonna hurt sometimes. But its all worth it, because we wouldn't choose to do it if it wasnt! I love you guys. I'm glad to see EC wake up for this post.
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Post by ADMIN on Oct 13, 2006 11:59:33 GMT -5
Whoa! At least we all know we are all still here and alive. I am glad this posts has nudged us all to come out and share what we are going thru. We are clearing and as Dee said, that's ascension is all about. Hurray! I thought for moment that everyone had gone into hiding. LOL! I am also grateful for everyone sharing their story as it also give comfort to others that we are not alone in this process and that many, many are going thru it as well. What to talk about? There is a lot to talk about, to share so others can see what this process is a natural one and that not everyone experiences it at the same time. Some are in the down hill (sad) and other are on the top part 9happy(of the Roller coaster ride. This doesn't mean that the ones who are happy will not feel the other side, it's all according to that time when one choses to accept the download and the clearing. Remember on N.C. when the numbers would show up? We would welcome the coding in those numbers and accept them audibly.
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