Lost

[rainbow]

Awww thanks Jenn.
Very encouraging words.
And so glad to hear you
feel so "found".
(((hugs)))

[whitequeen]

I feel so separate, what a laugh...when it's 'supposed' to be unity and I am feeling further and further away. It's like I see all these people through a fog, in swirls of foggy air that are more like phatoms. Even old, old friends that are just not jiving, fitting any more. And then I want to call them and realize the only thing we have in common is our past and the triggers for those old conversations get fired and we have the same discussion over and over because I can't share who I am with them any more and am not really interested in what seems to me as their petty worlds. It's not a judgment just a feeling of separateness.

I wander around, when I have the nerve to even leave my house, and feel like I am walking through some sureal scene most of the time. It's like I am rattling around in this body and looking our through a mask. It feels like people are watching me too waiting for me to make my next move or to do something profound. Weird.

I don't feel so much lost because I decided a long time ago just to chart my own course in spite of it all. For me it's more alone and separate. When I think about calling someone or going out or maybe even trying to find an earth 'partner/mate' I think about it for a few minutes and then I shake my head like I have some kind of rare jungle disease and go back to work. It's like...nah, why bother taking the time, who needs it. And I loll around in my own solitude sometime content and sometimes wallowing in my own stench of stuff.

I am glad when I find the few 'oddballs' like myself LOL and can have some place to take my thoughts and ideas and express them. It doesn't matter if I am right or wrong. That's not an issue any more. I just want to be able to share my thoughts once in a while. I don't even like to speak any more. I love to express myself through the written word because i can practice my telepathy and speaking sometimes requires too much energy...not to mention my tongue gets twisted now and I step on it all to often these days.

Sigh...

WQ with mangled tongue

[Lunaria]

Ya, WQ,
I know what you mean by not wanting to use the voice. I'd rather type too.
Besides Someone is channeling through me when I type my short stories.
;D