Post by ADMIN on Apr 4, 2005 14:05:04 GMT -5
SLOGANS IN AMERICA!
By AIDEN LOUIS
A radiator repair shop in Ohio proclaims itself "A great place to take a leak."
That's just one of the clever slogans Weekly World News brought back after a cross-country trip spent scouting out the funniest business signs in America.
Here's what we found:
*PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA -- "Let Us Pick Your Nose!"
*FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA -- "Drive Carefully. We'll Wait."
*AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS -- "The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment."
*GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK -- "Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix."
*TIRE SHOP IN UTAH --"Invite Us To Your Next Blowout."
*ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK IN MONTANA -- "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."
*SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN --"You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid."
*ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA -- "You've Got Questions, We've Got Geeks."
*B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS --"Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years."
*CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA -- "Extra long is our specialty."
*PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE IN MAINE -- "Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps."
*SEX THERAPIST'S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA -- "Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date."
*SEX CHANGE SURGEON'S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS-- "Eat, Drink and Be Mary."
*COUPLE'S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY --"Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone."
*LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA -- "Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy."
*SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN -- "Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard."
*TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA -- "We Skid You Not."
*PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS -- "The Breast Is Yet To Come."
*ELEVATOR OPERATORS' UNION IN CHICAGO -- "We Do It Going Up And Down."
*FINANCIAL ANALYST'S OFFICE IN FLORIDA -- "Bankers Do It With Interest."
*LAWYER'S OFFICE IN OREGON -- "We Do It In Our Briefs!"
*STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. -- "Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Find A Rock."
*U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. --"Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt."
*MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA -- "We make mountains out of molehills."
*HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN -- "For toasty nuts, try us."
*TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO --"Many Happy Returns."
*VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT -- "We Suck!"
*LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA -- "Let Us Kiss Your Grass."
By AIDEN LOUIS
A radiator repair shop in Ohio proclaims itself "A great place to take a leak."
That's just one of the clever slogans Weekly World News brought back after a cross-country trip spent scouting out the funniest business signs in America.
Here's what we found:
*PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA -- "Let Us Pick Your Nose!"
*FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA -- "Drive Carefully. We'll Wait."
*AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS -- "The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment."
*GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK -- "Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix."
*TIRE SHOP IN UTAH --"Invite Us To Your Next Blowout."
*ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK IN MONTANA -- "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."
*SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN --"You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid."
*ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA -- "You've Got Questions, We've Got Geeks."
*B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS --"Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years."
*CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA -- "Extra long is our specialty."
*PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE IN MAINE -- "Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps."
*SEX THERAPIST'S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA -- "Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date."
*SEX CHANGE SURGEON'S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS-- "Eat, Drink and Be Mary."
*COUPLE'S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY --"Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone."
*LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA -- "Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy."
*SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN -- "Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard."
*TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA -- "We Skid You Not."
*PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS -- "The Breast Is Yet To Come."
*ELEVATOR OPERATORS' UNION IN CHICAGO -- "We Do It Going Up And Down."
*FINANCIAL ANALYST'S OFFICE IN FLORIDA -- "Bankers Do It With Interest."
*LAWYER'S OFFICE IN OREGON -- "We Do It In Our Briefs!"
*STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. -- "Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Find A Rock."
*U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. --"Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt."
*MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA -- "We make mountains out of molehills."
*HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN -- "For toasty nuts, try us."
*TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO --"Many Happy Returns."
*VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT -- "We Suck!"
*LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA -- "Let Us Kiss Your Grass."
