Post by ADMIN on Dec 15, 2005 13:53:36 GMT -5
How To Lose Weight Without Exercising
Here is a guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume:
Beating around the bush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
100
Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
150
Swallowing your pride . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Throwing your weight around
(depending on your weight)
50-300
Dragging your heels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
100
Pushing your luck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
250
Making mountains out of molehills . . .. . . . . . . .
500
Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
300
Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . . . . . . . . .
200
Balancing the books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Running around in circles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
350
Eating crow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
225
Tooting your own horn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Climbing the ladder of success . . . . . . . . . . . .
750
Pulling out the stops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Adding fuel to the fire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
160
Wrapping it up at day's end . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Putting your foot in your mouth . . . . . . . . . . .
300
Starting the ball rolling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
90
Going over the edge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Picking up the pieces . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
350
Counting eggs before they hatch . . . . . . . . .. .
6
Calling it quits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2
More Humor
1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
2. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
3. Two rules for life: (1) Don't tell people everything you know. (2)
4. I was once in a spelling bee, but I lost because the other contastents cheeted.
5. Did ancient Roman doctors refer to IV's as fours?
6. Now I know why they call them trial lawyers. I tried one and I didn't like him.
7. Why get even when you can get odd?
8. They say if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat down your door. But usually it's just one neighbor, and he'll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
9. Want to trace your family tree? Run for public office or win the sweepstakes.
10. A fool and his money are soon partying.
11. How come you never hear about GRUNTLED employees?
12. I went to a strip mall the other day. Let me tell you, I was disappointed. Everybody else had on clothes.
13. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
14. There are two kinds of jokes—the ones people laugh at, and the ones where people say, "That's funny."
15. You say "tomato," I say "tomato.com."
16. The reason that men pay for dates is because women have to pay for the wedding.
17. I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive. She thinks she got me with her long-range rifle.
18. Just because it's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty.
19. Why isn't there an explosion when you pour gasoline on fire ants?
20. Never let your willpower get the best of you.
21. If opportunity knocks on your door, by the time you unlatch the bolt, turn the deadbolts, unlock the chain and silence the burglar alarm, it will be gone.
22. These days it almost takes more brains to fill out your income tax than it does to make the money.
23. Everybody tells you to have a nice day, but nobody tells you how.
24. If God had wanted us to see the sunrise, He would have made it rise at noon.
Here is a guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume:
Beating around the bush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
100
Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
150
Swallowing your pride . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Throwing your weight around
(depending on your weight)
50-300
Dragging your heels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
100
Pushing your luck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
250
Making mountains out of molehills . . .. . . . . . . .
500
Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
300
Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . . . . . . . . .
200
Balancing the books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Running around in circles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
350
Eating crow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
225
Tooting your own horn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Climbing the ladder of success . . . . . . . . . . . .
750
Pulling out the stops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
75
Adding fuel to the fire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
160
Wrapping it up at day's end . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
50
Putting your foot in your mouth . . . . . . . . . . .
300
Starting the ball rolling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
90
Going over the edge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Picking up the pieces . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
350
Counting eggs before they hatch . . . . . . . . .. .
6
Calling it quits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2
More Humor
1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
2. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
3. Two rules for life: (1) Don't tell people everything you know. (2)
4. I was once in a spelling bee, but I lost because the other contastents cheeted.
5. Did ancient Roman doctors refer to IV's as fours?
6. Now I know why they call them trial lawyers. I tried one and I didn't like him.
7. Why get even when you can get odd?
8. They say if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat down your door. But usually it's just one neighbor, and he'll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
9. Want to trace your family tree? Run for public office or win the sweepstakes.
10. A fool and his money are soon partying.
11. How come you never hear about GRUNTLED employees?
12. I went to a strip mall the other day. Let me tell you, I was disappointed. Everybody else had on clothes.
13. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
14. There are two kinds of jokes—the ones people laugh at, and the ones where people say, "That's funny."
15. You say "tomato," I say "tomato.com."
16. The reason that men pay for dates is because women have to pay for the wedding.
17. I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive. She thinks she got me with her long-range rifle.
18. Just because it's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty.
19. Why isn't there an explosion when you pour gasoline on fire ants?
20. Never let your willpower get the best of you.
21. If opportunity knocks on your door, by the time you unlatch the bolt, turn the deadbolts, unlock the chain and silence the burglar alarm, it will be gone.
22. These days it almost takes more brains to fill out your income tax than it does to make the money.
23. Everybody tells you to have a nice day, but nobody tells you how.
24. If God had wanted us to see the sunrise, He would have made it rise at noon.
